DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Never born.

Member since 2004 · Posted 4 Aug 2005 · Edited 7 Aug 2005 · 15 comments

It's really weird When you cannot grasp something which is right beside you Something which is just a breath away Just inches from where you are standing now It seems to get farther away The moment you reach out for it The moment you long for it It just scampers off Living you all alone In solitude Then you start to wonder Whether it's all real Whether everything seems to be too good to be true Or just something virtual Are you actually living in your fantasies? Planning about your perfect life Imagine that it could happen Just hoping and wishing That everything will turn out right for you The way you always dream it to be In that deep corner of your heart You know that it would never happen Everything's fake .. You are fated to live life this way You never get all the sweetest things in life .. Sweet? Yeah .. But consider it sweet nothings that will never end .. Are you brave enough to look at your reflection for another day .. It won't be that much long now .. When you're tired of it .. And you just wish that .. You were never born in this world.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.67 weighted 5.08 rank 6461 views 212 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

15 comments

[8] Bethy 4-Aug-05/12:08 PM Reply

very deep...
Life is not too short...its the longest thing we have to do...
Good poem

[n/a] | Broken | 5-Aug-05/7:17 AM Reply

Thanks Bethy .. (",*)

[5] Dovina 5-Aug-05/4:59 PM Reply

CS Lewis says that even the most ideal cirmstance falls short of providing satisfaction. The best marriage, the best friendship, they all fail to fulfill our wants. It is probable, therefore, he goes on, that only by looking to a force beyond the limitations of humanity can we find satisfaction.

[10] zodiac › Dovina 6-Aug-05/3:18 AM Reply

That's silly. That the situation is "ideal" MEANS that it's going to provide satisfaction. At least, as far as most people are concerned. Whose IDEAL of marriage (that is, whose vision of a PERFECT marriage) is misery? CS would have done better to say "people fall short of realizing their ideal circumstances" or "people make up stupid ideals, like a Porsche and a wife who makes waffles naked." Also, CS Lewis is a bint.

[10] zodiac › Dovina 6-Aug-05/3:20 AM Reply

...In short, since I notice I didn't say it, everyone's ideal for every circumstance should be "it'll make me purely, wholesomely happy without killing a bunch of baby seals or something such."

[5] Dovina › zodiac 6-Aug-05/7:19 AM Reply

Again you quibble about the meanings of words in a comment, which is off-the-cuff of course. Can you not understand what I mean, or is it your greatest pleasure to understand and then ignore in favor of silly arguements. CS said that the best satisfactions on earth are lacking somenting. If you wish to comment, please comment on that.

[10] zodiac › Dovina 7-Aug-05/12:11 AM Reply

I think CS would have been cool with word-quibbles. Next one: The best satisfactions on earth are lacking something compared to what? Like, if my expectation was, "This activity is not only going to make me happy, but also rich and as virile as I was at seventeen," then no, pretty much no circumstance is going to fulfill that. But my circumstances make me about as happy as any human being on earth. Shouldn't that be the high endpoint of satisfaction? Like, satisfaction can't be defined as "some kind of pleasure it's impossible to feel in earthly existence" or "like orgasming all the time", or nobody could use it and it's basically a throwaway word. Do you see what I mean? Basically, my satisfactions are right in line with my expectations, so I logically cannot feel like they're lacking. Right?

[5] Dovina › zodiac 7-Aug-05/9:43 PM Reply

<The best satisfactions on earth are lacking something compared to what?> Compared to a deep inner sense that something more must be available - That's the feeling expressed by CS Lewis and others. He would not be satisfied with saying "my circumstances make me about as happy as any human being on earth." That would not be the high endpoint of satisfaction for him. He cannot know the level of satisfaction of other humans, and feels that if his good marriage and other pleasures seem lacking an unknown element, then it is probable that the missing thing is only available outside of human interactions. Unlike you, his satisfactions were not right in line with his expectations because yours are logically derived while his were sensual.

[10] zodiac › Dovina 9-Aug-05/1:42 AM Reply

Oh. Then I can rightly say, "The worst dissatisfactions on earth are lacking something"? Or "The most boring boredom on earth falls short of the ideal of boredom?" Or "The itchiest itch is only a shadow of some greater almighty itch"?

Jeez, aren't we pretty lucky on the whole? Not the least for not having a God who's into extremes, or we'd have killed ourselves ages ago.

[5] Dovina › zodiac 9-Aug-05/7:39 AM Reply

You can say those things, but you cannot prove them, just as CS Lewis cannot prove his statement. You are applying blunt logic to sensual things, and it comes out terse and without feeling. I'm not opposed to mixing logic and feelings, but I think you go too far in the logic direction.

[10] zodiac › Dovina 14-Aug-05/12:40 AM Reply

"The itchiest itch is only a shadow of some greater almighty itch" is the most illogical thing I've ever said, and I feel it to the core of my being. How ya like dem apples?

You're not answering my point. CS Lewis' proof of God is the transience of earthly pleasure and his feeling that there's got to be some better pleasure out there. If you felt that earthly misery was pretty tepid overall, and you just KNEW there was some greater, higher misery out there, what would that be proof of? Um, God. My examples are exactly the same as CS, except mine make God sound kind of like a jackass, in my opinion.

And this is all bum thinking (or feeling?) to begin with. For all the reasons above. To wit, there's no reason to believe a word like, say, satisfaction means 'some perfect state of well-being pretty much unattainable in earthly existence'. Your problem, if I may say so Dovina, is that you keep forgetting words are just things we made up once.

[10] zodiac 6-Aug-05/3:10 AM Reply

Maybe you don't want to, but if you DID want to make this poem EVEN BETTER you might make the following edits:

Breathe => breath,
Planning about your perfect life => Planning your perfect life,
dreamt => dreamed,
it to => it would,
.. => [nothing],
long => longer,
.. => [nothing],
punctuation throughout.

Just a suggestion. I really enjoyed seeing what it would be like to live pointlessly. -10-

[n/a] | Broken | › zodiac 6-Aug-05/8:39 AM Reply

I heed your advice and make some changes .. Thanks zodiac (",*) .. Btw .. Where do CS Lewis quotes come about ..

[10] zodiac › | Broken | 7-Aug-05/12:17 AM Reply

From CS Lewis, I imagine. Other than that, from you. Probably from lines like "It seems to get further away The moment you reach out for it The moment you long for it It just scampers off".

That reminds me: farther, not further.

[n/a] | Broken | › zodiac 7-Aug-05/7:33 AM Reply

Haha .. Okay .. thanks. (",*)