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More Than The World (Free verse) by XOXScottishgrlXOX I love You more than anything on Earth
I have hope and faith in You
Because of You Lord I am alive
I was put here for a purpose
Life will lead me to many places
Some will be good and some bad
I love You more than the world
Everyone has their own problems
But because of You Ican get through them
No matter what comes my way You are with me
You teach me lessons when I have done wrong
When I am down I know I can come to You
Even though some people don't believe You still love them
I love You more than the world
Up the ladder:
Romantic dreams
Down the ladder:
Shining (A Haiku)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 1.0
Posted: August 7, 2005 6:15 PM PDT; Last modified: August 9, 2005 9:18 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.523188 Overall Rank: 12769 Comments:
[8]
T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185
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8-Aug-05/12:12 PM
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Reply
Best ode to Xanax that I have read in months!
In the language of prayer, all references to God are customarily capitalized, including "You." Eventhough is two words.
Everyone has whose problems? Don't you mean 'Everyone has his (or her) problems'? Or even better, 'Everyone has problems'?
Sorry for being nitpicky. Notice even Dovina didn't catch it. As for the poem, I wish there was something new you could say about God. You'd think, hey He's infinte, there must be an infinite number of original things to say about Him. Funny how there isn't, huh?
I didn't even think about it! I have been out of school for almost three months. Thanks for pointing it out to me!!!!
Thanks for saying "even Dovina didn't catch it." Makes a person feel almost omnipotent.
Describe "almost omnipotent".
Almost you.
In regards to "Everyone has their problems" It may not be grammatically correct but it's still used in common language. Who hasn't heard a reasonably intellegent person say something along the lines of "We all got our problems" If anything "Everyone has their own problems" would clear it up. But it's the context that makes the grammatical error unacceptable. Prayers should be formal and perfect. So in this poem fix it but in another you may not need to.
Consider who is using it in common language. Recent immigrants, my friend, recent immigrants. Is that really the face you want to show the world?
"We all got our problems" is grammatically correct, if not exactly right for the present situation. Most half-educated people I know also habitually say "Everyone has his own problems" or "We all have problems". Which are easier and just as clear, if anything. I agree with your point that "Everyone has their own problems" would be a perfectly fine thing to include in a poem written, say, in the voice of a hillbilly.
Recent immigrants? I assume you weren't trying to be racist. Hell half the recent immigrants I know and I do know quite a few speak better english than half the native born Americans I know. If "We all got our problems" is grammatically correct and our is the possessive form of we and they is the possessive form of their then where's the problem?
Go to this url - http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q
Sorry. Their is the possessive form of they. My Dyslexia strikes again.
"We all got our problems" is the grammatically correct answer to the question "Did you all get your problems?"
I'm not a chauvinist (I have a Master's in feminist criticism. My subspecialty was racial criticism, so I'm not racist either.) That said, "his" is an acceptable option for unspecified gender. About a quarter of the professors I know use pretty much only "his". Another quarter uses the clunky "his or hers", another quarter mixes up hises and herses, and another just tri to avoid the situation altogether. A good example of avoiding the situation altogether (which I recommend for this poem) is "We all have our own problems".
Or, "I know a guy who has problems." You know, make it a little personal.
I'm going to pick a bone here.
Say "Everybody got their problems" or "We all got our problems" or whatever you feel like. "They" as a singular pronoun has been used for over a century. There's nothing wrong with writing the English you speak. The only difference between a grammatically "correct" and "incorrect" construction is whether or not it happened to get standardized (and fossilized) when a language was first written down or thereafter. I'm not being ungrammatical by using "you" as a singular pronoun instead of "thou" although many prescriptive grammaticians of centuries past cried that to do so was to vandalize the English language. Therefore to say "We all got our problems" is incorrect is almost as rediculous as saying that Dante really wrote in grammatically incorrect Latin. Now about the poem, it's bad. It doesen't read like a poem at all but more like a 10 year old's improvised prayer before bedtime. I can't see any way to salvage it. Sorry.
See usage note for "He" at Dictionary.com
I don't think your either racist or a chauvinist but I do think "Everyone has his own problems" is chauvinistic in the tradition of so many other words that put him and not her into the words spoken by MANkind. The immigrant comment you must admit did appear to have an ever so slight racist undertone. "We all have our own problems" sounds fine to me and maybe even is a little more self-inclusive.
Yes, well I thought the immigrant comment was funny, that's all. I guess it wasn't.
I don't think it's perfectly correct to say "his" all the time. But then it's not really correct to say "their" for everyone, everybody, anyone, and so on. On a continuum of correctness, "his" is more correct than "their". And a lot of feminist professors I know use "he" and "his" for everything, and they're not kicked out of the Feminists' Club. I should also say I know a few feminist professors who use "she" and "her" for everything and they're everybody's darlings. Of course, "We've all got our own problems" is more correct than either of the two, and has the advantage of being personal, which is a good thing to be when you're praying to God. I don't understand why you don't just say that. On a side note, don't you think it's funny how, impossible-to-grammaticize as it is, "everybody has their own problems" has been written by so many people that it's totally meaningless? I do. I really wish you'd write a poem about a person who had a real problem, by way of example and showing-not-telling. Let me know what you think.
"Of course, "We've all got our own problems" is more correct than either of the two, and has the advantage of being personal, which is a good thing to be when you're praying to God. I don't understand why you don't just say that."
I did say that! In my first comment. "But it's the context that makes the grammatical error unacceptable. Prayers should be formal and perfect. So in this poem fix it but in another you may not need to." The making it a personal statement part is a bonus but the poem could survive without it. But as you see I stated from the start that the line was informal and inexcusable for this poem. I only said "everyone has their own problems" would be clearer not that using it makes everthing all better. I think it's ok to use his when it's likely to be only a him or hims. Feminist professors? I prefer feminist professettes. That's a joke for ya. Most of your jokes I get and laugh my ass off to. You must have played this one too deadpan or maybe I was just messin' with ya. I forget it's been so long ago. On a side note, I'll try to grant your wish for you some day. Keep rubbing the lamp.
Very Nice...Bethy :)
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