Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/11:37 AM
Doesn't sound american. More like Emily Bronte's great, great, great grand daughters response to something she saw on Oprah. But very well written in the aesthetic sense. In many ways I envy you.
Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	21-Aug-05/10:48 AM
Something's wrong in the last stanza. i'm no grammmarian but it just doesn't make sense to me. Sorry I can't help more than that.
Re: GIRL IN THE RED DRESS by prettyktm	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/10:35 AM
Good job, feels like you could do more with expressive and novel language, but the poem did its job very well and there are some beautiful places.
Re: Night Shift by ALChemy	Bethy 24.222.32.237	21-Aug-05/10:32 AM
EXCELLENT!!!
Re: a comment on Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/10:27 AM
By the way, where's my 10?
Re: a comment on Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/10:27 AM
This poem has been translated, to my knowledge, three times in addition to mine. Each of the three contained what I considered to be faults. It was my love for the original and my disappointment with the translations that lead me to translate it myself. In addition, translating poetry is an excellent way to improve one's own technique. By putting my another poet's voice through my mouth, I feel I improve and alter my own voice. It is a way to learn to keep my subject matter in focus without letting it waver. By translating I can learn to prevent the sudden transformation of my poem into something entirely different. (Take a look at my "Written while Kayaking" for a prime example of a wavering subject.) So translation benefits not only the reader by introducing them to fresh material, but the translator as well, who learns to write his own work better as a result.
Re: Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	21-Aug-05/9:21 AM
In order to understand poetry more , may I ask: What is the purpose of translating a poem which has been translated probably more than once? In the meantime, it pleases my ears and thanks for introducing me to ANOTHER poet whom I shall probaly never understand were it not for translations. Voting in this case seems futile without being able to read Italian. 10
Re: a comment on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/9:00 AM
Smells kinda fishy to me. (it's a pun. get it?)
Re: a comment on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/8:55 AM
If you changed ropes to hoses than it could be about 9/11 although the fuming part is still questionable. But you get your aeroplanes that way.
Re: a comment on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/8:49 AM
anchors fall scoring planes: Anchors fall marking lines in the seabed i.e. Plains. deep in crossing: Crossing the deep i.e.(ocean or sea). no word is so calm: No word as calm as the seabed. kites adrift marking time: Kites is also a word for sales. making good time or making up time lost. glancing among chorals: I assumed coral was also misspelled. The whole boat skimming across the water near corals. no image is so clear: An unforgetable image. ropes lie writing curls: The ropes lying on the deck curled like cursive script. fuming around brass: ??? Smelly and encircling brass poles or rails. The fuming part is what confused me. I thought you might have ment furling or fumbling. no touch is so plain: Touch (as in detail to the overall image). Is so plain (as in is so simple or obvious). If someone can come up with a more accurate or plausable description then I will commend them for it.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/8:04 AM
The beliefs we're talking about are unknown things. Things that haven't been proven. If they were proven they'd be truths. But even things science says are truths can and sometimes have been proven to be untrue. So the quality of belief and truth are simular (I'm talking about truth in practice in our society definition / as apposed to the irreversible truth as a concept definition). Basically I'm saying if you want to change someone's mind about what they believe you must first change their heart. The sword of truth and God's words are words that speak to your heart. The angel is tempting the servant to do something that the servant doesn't believe is God's intention. The sevant isn't sure that the angel is sent by God and asks for proof (the sword of god which is the truth you know in your heart). It's kind of a knock on those so called messenger angels who are supposed to be speaking for God. I don't think God speaks to you vicariously. This probably hasn't cleared things up but at least i gave it a try. I've always considered myself as a bit of a paradox so my confusing you isn't surprising. But I know what I believe even if logic say's it's a contradiction. Jesus was accused of being contradictory too. I think at some point all religions are and yet I'm still religious. Go figure. If you said something that spoke to my heart (as many of your poems have) it could possibly change my belief in something.
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/6:51 AM
"City of Angels" is a movie (Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan star in it) about an angel (Cage) who falls in love with a doctor (Ryan) and gives up his wings to become human to be with her. The ending in the movie by the way is absolutely hilarious.
Re: Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/6:37 AM
Powerful, could use some tighter language. But powerful
Re: a comment on REMEBER by prettyktm	prettyktm 203.115.81.186	21-Aug-05/12:08 AM
Thanks for your comment.but it's also something which is nearly a fact.take care.
Re: a comment on Written while Kayaking by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	20-Aug-05/11:02 PM
ok, you curmudgeonly Luddite. Here are some words that were at one time inadmissable to poetry and elevated writing belittle dug (as opposed to 'digg'd' or 'diggèd') neither (as part of the "neither...nor" construction as opposed to "nor...nor") either (as part of the "either...or" construction as opposed to "or...or") Legs (briefly in victorian england)
Re: a comment on Crazy by that_funny_girl	that_funny_girl 205.188.117.13	20-Aug-05/2:57 PM
not so much betrayed...as just plain hurt I never trusted them anyway ....but thanks for taking an interest in my poetry :)
Re: The Giant Verse by drnick	Bethy 24.222.32.247	20-Aug-05/2:38 PM
this is great...Bethy :)
Re: Chocolate Bunny by not_a_philosopher	Bethy 24.222.32.247	20-Aug-05/2:31 PM
hehehehahahahaha!!! ha... I like your mind...:) Bethy
Re: tanka(1) by shadows	impert&ent 80.195.201.212	20-Aug-05/12:19 PM
I like bits of this a lot, but overall it's a bit too matter-of-fact. Takes away some of the metaphors that might be brewing.
Re: tanka(4) by shadows	impert&ent 80.195.201.212	20-Aug-05/12:15 PM
I see some lines I like. Some lines I'd like to play with too.