Re: a comment on Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.138	22-Aug-05/10:02 AM
Um, this is actually a little old but I went ahead with Shoeis' suggestions because I'm beating myself about the pate deciding how important music is to my poetry. Deep inside, I'm a believer, no matter what the world thinks. Thanks.
Re: Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT	Dovina 12.72.25.123	22-Aug-05/9:59 AM
The most religious thing I've seen from you. What gives? I Like it a lot.
Re: a comment on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.138	22-Aug-05/9:56 AM
I find myself leaning toward Mr. Pound whenever he suggests poetry MUST have music, to be true poetry. The one thing I keep coming back to is the lack of music in most of my poems. I think that it is the ONE thing keeping me from growing. Any time I DO have music, it seems forced. Maybe I should study music for a while, no? Thanks for your time.
Re: a comment on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	22-Aug-05/9:49 AM
some would argue yes. It is possible to write what could arguably be called a poem without a single pronounceable word, like some of e.e. cummings. Sometimes you can deliberately drain the lyricism and music out of a poem if dischord and blandness are its message, as when (sorry to make a reference to russian poetry, but I can't think of another example right now) the greatest Russian poet Alexander Pushkin in his long poem, Eugene Onegin, includes a trite ode written by Vladimir Lensky, one of his characters, to show that Lensky is a mediocre poet.
Re: a comment on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.138	22-Aug-05/9:35 AM
A question for you and Sasha. Is it possible to write good, even great poetry without lyricism or music? Just for my own knowledge.
Re: a comment on The burden of faith by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.132.26	22-Aug-05/2:05 AM
I hope that was actually as much in support of the poem as it sounded.
Re: a comment on The burden of faith by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.132.26	22-Aug-05/2:02 AM
Actually, the poem never even mentions anything specifically Biblical, so how can you declare it to be about Old Testament. Especially when I then use the disciples to in my argument for the poem, the disciples who are very much New Testament.
Re: a comment on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.132.26	22-Aug-05/1:53 AM
How do you mean tighter?
Re: a comment on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.132.26	22-Aug-05/1:52 AM
I actually started with the title and wrote the poem around it. There are three other variations but I thought this was the best.
Re: No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	22-Aug-05/12:06 AM
I agree with Zodiac the last two lines of verse 2 say pretty much the same thing as verse 1. Otherwise it's good.
Re: No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	sliver 172.194.213.172	21-Aug-05/11:54 PM
A vivid picture, I felt it all the way through.I've tried three times tonight, just can't write. Sooo, this is what I would do with this. If you like all or any, welcome. What voice could sing in joy of death Each leaf as it withers and dies fluttering down to mingle with the soil keeping it's host alive. this fitting requiem
Re: Written while Kayaking by Sasha	7!3 219.95.12.137	21-Aug-05/6:11 PM
yea, i like the first verse, too... i think your poem could've been better.... coz i LOVE kayaking!!!
Re: tanka(4) by shadows	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/3:53 PM
very contemporary with the flavor of the japanese masters. nice
Re: Smells by the_poetess	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.148.148	21-Aug-05/1:51 PM
A tissue of lies from start to finish, the crescendo being your staggering claim that Asian food smells nice. No Asian thing smells nice, because by definition that thing is coated in a thick layer of Brown.
Re: Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.148.148	21-Aug-05/1:44 PM
Congratulations! You've won the prize for most arbitrary line break of the month! (It's the one between 'and I' and 'would frolic in the park')
Re: Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/1:07 PM
Good, except for the soppy parts about love and friendship and being there when you're down. It may be what you feel, but objectively it weakens the strength of the poem. 8 for overall quality
Re: a comment on Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/1:05 PM
I promise you the next thing will be original. Ok luv?
Re: a comment on Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/12:53 PM
Click on my name
Re: Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	Bethy 24.222.32.200	21-Aug-05/12:16 PM
Lets read something you wrote...and not a translation...I know this is written in your words, and it is a great...but lets see your own work...:) Bethy
Re: GIRL IN THE RED DRESS by prettyktm	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/12:02 PM
Did she tell him all these things before or after she tossed his salad? Kudos for making whore-sex so romantic. -10-