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CommentsComments 16521–16540 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

Dovina replying on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy 20 Aug 2005, 11:53 AM
and the clarity and strength of statement. Your long comment above is confusing to me and seems self contradictory. Are you sure you know what you believe and whether you would change your belief if shown good reason?
Dovina replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 11:48 AM
"confused to understand" I see your point, and for that alone deserve a kiss. I don't think "nor" works in the third stanza because it's about a real hand below a real rib, and not a continuation of verse 2. The duplication in "about this feeling" is there to show the difference between the act and the feeling. Weird, I know. "platitudes" is strong, but it reminds me of the sayings attributed to angels - rest in peace, God be with you, I'm by your side, etc. "City of Angels" might work into a nice addition. I'll consider it. It is whimsical and non doctrinal, but your seggestion of fantasizing about sleeping with an angel is farther afield than I'm willing to go. The last verse is about sleeping with a man, and it compares this man with others who are like the angels in the former verses. I'm good when I'm not poetic, but thanks, I see what you mean.
impert&ent replying on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent 20 Aug 2005, 11:46 AM
That would be telling... Let's see if someone else picks it up.
impert&ent replying on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent 20 Aug 2005, 11:45 AM
I like your reading of it. It's got a take I hadn't imagined. I do mean plane, though I see what you mean, and I like your interpretation. I am thinking of something else, where plane is the right word, with one reference to a flat surface, like the hull of a ship, and another reference to aeroplanes. I was hoping the ambiguity in my spelling of certain words would prompt a variety of readings. Again, your reference to the seabed is correct, but I was writing about it in the third line: no wor(l)d is so calm. Similar ambiguities are meant with chorals (corals) and writing (writhing). But I still didn't come up with your take on it. Just proves you've got more imagination! The title comes from two things, not related to the poem. I took a hit from Caducus, playing with his vibe. I was also listening to an old Cal Tjader tune on the radio that really made me want to move. That cat was something else on vibes.
Dovina replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 11:45 AM
Indeed it does, but I like to provide the reader an ambiguity when it seems to work. Here you can look at it as all about angels, or you can project angel behavior onto men.
Dovina replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 11:27 AM
"it's beat," referring to her heart - not bad.
Dovina replying on Surveyor and Farmer by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 11:24 AM
Yes they are, and a secret encounter after an exhausting day at work is especially nice. Thanks for the comment.
Dovina replying on Surveyor and Farmer by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 11:22 AM
An adjective phrase is any phrase which modifies a noun or pronoun. So you must mean lines 2,3,5,and 6. You have objected to my using lines like these in the past, and I've never understood why. It's become a part of my style and hard to change one's sex, but not impossible. I will change if convinced it's bad in some way besides preference. Really, thanks for the comment and vote.
ALChemy on tanka(4) by shadows 20 Aug 2005, 10:07 AM
Your welca(1)
ALChemy replying on REMEBER by prettyktm 20 Aug 2005, 9:57 AM
See now that's ironic.
ALChemy replying on First by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 9:54 AM
And Jesus said "It is easier for zodiac to squeeze through his own asshole than for a woman to get a membership into the great golf courses of heaven."
ALChemy replying on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX 20 Aug 2005, 9:40 AM
"Of course, "We've all got our own problems" is more correct than either of the two, and has the advantage of being personal, which is a good thing to be when you're praying to God. I don't understand why you don't just say that." I did say that! In my first comment. "But it's the context that makes the grammatical error unacceptable. Prayers should be formal and perfect. So in this poem fix it but in another you may not need to." The making it a personal statement part is a bonus but the poem could survive without it. But as you see I stated from the start that the line was informal and inexcusable for this poem. I only said "everyone has their own problems" would be clearer not that using it makes everthing all better. I think it's ok to use his when it's likely to be only a him or hims. Feminist professors? I prefer feminist professettes. That's a joke for ya. Most of your jokes I get and laugh my ass off to. You must have played this one too deadpan or maybe I was just messin' with ya. I forget it's been so long ago. On a side note, I'll try to grant your wish for you some day. Keep rubbing the lamp.
ALChemy replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 8:58 AM
But what if it's about a man she loved and then lost. People sometimes project their lost loved ones as angels in their minds. Then it takes on a subtler more symbolic meaning.
ALChemy replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 8:50 AM
Beatiful: A word invented by ALChemy meaning full of beat or full of rhythm. Something with rhythm that's beautiful. “She understood he knew her heart.” sounds OK but the repetition of heart sounds a little like Fred Durst trying to rhyme. I was thinking not a change so much as an addition. i.e. "and she knew he understood it's beat."
ALChemy replying on Surveyor and Farmer by Dovina 20 Aug 2005, 8:30 AM
There are some seriously lucky people on your friends list. I think my idea was very affectionate too and (teeheehee) a little dirty ;) Great poem either way. 10+
ALChemy replying on The burden of faith by Bobjim 20 Aug 2005, 7:57 AM
Sorry the first reference I said you mentioned was actually Dovina's. My bad.
ALChemy replying on The burden of faith by Bobjim 20 Aug 2005, 7:54 AM
Imagine 12 men (or maybe 11 men and a woman or heck even 3 men and a baby) were sat down in front of a tree and told that this tree is a manifestation of God. They were then asked to write a poem describing the tree. Some wrote and some didn't and one even hung himself over it. Eventually Three poems were chosen and the rest were either burned, hidden or confiscated and kept from the public by Catholics depending on which conspiracy you’re theorizing. Those 3 poems were then taken by their authors and taught to people in different parts of the world who all spoke different languages. After the authors' deaths they translated the poems into several languages and into many different versions with many different schools of philosophy on their meanings. All this being done under the influential meddling thumb of powerful politicians. Now based on only a recent version of the three poems go into the world’s forests and find me that tree. The real Bible was spoken in the loving words of mothers and father everywhere and passed down generation to generation. I believe Jesus loves me not because the Bible tells me so but because my mother does and I don't really care who or what told her about Jesus.
ALChemy replying on The burden of faith by Bobjim 20 Aug 2005, 7:14 AM
Ex-freaking-actly my point. In the end you still need to rely on faith. Your right about Jesus. Even that tablet with his name on it and Salomon's box were proved to be fakes. I'm familiar with the references you made all though I have many doubts about these works as well. And no I haven't read any of them. The first 2 by choice. The last one because I haven't gotten access to a copy and translation yet. The actual words in the bible have been written and rewritten by all kinds of holy and maybe some unholy men. Why is it that the Dead Sea Scrolls make no mention of the Immaculate Conception and suspiciously the Greeks actually worshiped a goddess who immaculately conceived a child before they changed over to Christianity which then became Catholicism and translated the bible which was then translated again into English? I don't believe in the bible or any other book on a worshiping level. I believe in God and that God's spirit exists in the bible as well as in some other works. I believe that the word of God is not in black or green or red on thin white paper but that the word of God is whispered in your ear by God's spirit as you read the stories that were truly written by mere men. A poem of a rose does not make a rose nor does a book of God make God. God was here before the bible and before words. So if you proved every word in the bible wrong I'd still believe in God and what God stands for. And If I had never heard of God I would only hope that the spirit of God was always present in my soul.
ALChemy replying on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy 20 Aug 2005, 6:07 AM
Your right the first six lines do stand out. I think It's the inside rhymes.
ALChemy replying on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy 20 Aug 2005, 6:03 AM
Separated niether the Servant or the Messenger are me but together they represent the struggle in me between what I feel to be the truth and what other forces or persons more powerful than I say is the truth. I shun the idea that god would rather speak to us through angels and preachers than simply directly through our own hearts. I believe that belief and truth are inseparable if not one in the same. Today’s belief may be tomorrow’s truth and today's truth may be tomorrow's myth. So I think your first impression was most accurate. The servant say's he simply needs proof that speaks to his heart to change what he currently believes is the righteous path. Don't we all.