INTRANSIT
on Stop stalking me, eventually by T. Jonathron Remp
6 Sep 2005, 10:06 AM
I f t h e d a m n e d s t an z a s d i d n ' t a l l s a y t h e s a m e t h i n g . . . . . . . basically.
"?in the sea / in the sea" looks like a console query
INTRANSIT
replying on Watch where you're swingin' your dipthong, buddy by INTRANSIT
6 Sep 2005, 9:39 AM
AE! Thank you.
Some good lines, but as a story, it lacks continuity. The German thing comes too late.
And after all that romping around. I must never have seen winnnnnter.
I see, and saw before you said the trite thing, your point.
The word "that" when used in a poem is distrsacting to me. I avoid it in favor of brevity, and at the expense of rhythm, most of the time. Meaning is better than rhythm, in my possibly obsolete opinion.
HELP! Excelsior is wood shavings?! Can't be. Makes no sense. Dic.com left me cold. ??????? It is better as one whole piece.
Diphthong, actually. And yes it is a funny word. I don't see how it has much to do with the rest of the poem, except that Frank, you, and Seattle (among others) are, in fact, diphthongs.
You know what I think is genius? How you've given a poem exactly the same name as one of the most famous songs of all time, yet your poem and the song are so dissimilar. I mean, check out these lyrics from the original:
And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little moon starts to climb
Always reminding me that we're apart
You wandered down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by
Sometimes I wonder why I spend
a lonely night dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie,
and I am once again with you
When our love was new
and each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago,
now my consolation is in the stardust of a song.
Beside a garden wall,
when stars are bright,
you are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
Of paradise where roses grew
Though I dream in vain,
in my heart it will remain
My stardust melody,
The memory of love's refrain
Is there any point on which your poem didn't take a new and astonishing direction? No! Not a one! Beautiful. -10-
LOVE/ABOVE ALERT...
LOVE/ABOVE ALERT...
PLEASE TRAVEL TO http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
Consider the possibility that you are actually insane.
I don't no either iver read better ive read worst good job
What the hell is this?
Really cute need to work on ending verse
What is this about is the guy getting fucked?