poemranker ::making progress (a piece of it) by Limness

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Lyric № 16825

making progress (a piece of it)

by Limness

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Sep 2002 · Edited 25 Sep 2002 · 9 comments

since you've left i think much too often i feel the real beginning to soften invisible since my light has gone but things have changed it followed you down they're all rearranged it followed you down unbrushed unshaved unbathed unmade you were the one you were the one my time is neat my room is long i'm on my feet and you were wrong

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mean 4.45 weighted 4.73 rank 11832 views 193 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

9 comments

[8] OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/11:04 PM Reply
If I'm reading it right then much like you this poem seems to have found that it stands better alone. Good job. 8.
[7] knickytoy 24-Sep-02/11:36 AM Reply
Love the last bit especially.
??
[8] horus8 24-Sep-02/1:34 PM Reply
as usual. wrongs all become right eventually. pure darwin.w
[n/a] poetandknowit 24-Sep-02/7:45 PM Reply
Okay, the first line automatically puts that Cars song in my head and I start reading the entire poem to that tune. Why is your room long?
[n/a] Limness › poetandknowit 25-Sep-02/9:49 AM Reply
long cold hospial room, with regimented schedule (neat time). cars song has been struck from inference in line one.
[n/a] Tibbs 25-Sep-02/10:51 PM Reply
So what? Get over it.
[8] nentwined 17-Dec-02/11:33 AM Reply
this isn't amazingly original, but it's very pretty; well done, really. 8
[8] Imperfections 21-Jan-03/10:27 PM Reply
Haunting. Reminds me a little of a little of a Third Eye Blind lyric: I couldn't define what you're getting at, but I definitely feel you.
[8] Heather Dee 6-Sep-05/2:33 AM Reply
Very good- I am impressed!