zodiac
replying on Without my Glasses by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 4:32 AM
I'm also an English major from Cold Mountain, NC, currently living in the Great Arab Armpit.
I don't plan on celebrating Ramadan. Godawful poetry - yes.
I'm the undiscovered corpse of Qusai Hussein, a.k.a. 'The Cultured Hussein', a.k.a. 'Little Torturepants', a.k.a. 'Bunny'.
Thank you.
It's the movie My Girl, starring Macaulay Culkin. 10 points if you knew that.
If I've said this once I've said it a quadrillion times: That's because language in California has evolved to the point that normal speech is considered poetic. Hence its reams and reams of godawful poetry.
No, seriously. Happy Ramadan as of sunset tomorrow.
Great. I just powervomited gatayyef. Happy Ramadamadan.
PS-Your first sentence is my exact description of your poetry. Check and mate.
Heh. Where are you from, zodiac, anyway?
Dovina: the poem was written from my viewpoint, inside a dark room; the streetlight is outside and what I can see is the fuzzy light sifting through the window shade.
'streaks of white' - well, they wouldn't be seen as streaks if i had my glasses on :-)
I like shades of drawn conclusions. Keep working on it.
waaaay too much repetition.
mmm...not your best, dear.
Lovely as always.
It's good but for the beginning, middle and end.
'Sparkbrook' didn't do it for me. Liked the imagery, though they didn't seem to flow very well.
The best part is "a deceitful pathway to empty noise." Zodiac is attracted to you in a spelling or spell-binding way.
Don't mind Zodiac, he's heat stricken over there in the Islamic sun. His grammar's gone kaput, and he thinks glasses will relieve his pain.
As for your poem, I'm having trouble with how glasses affect streaks of white that you see, and haw you could see it any better with glasses, looking through the windowshade.