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The Last Suburb (Free verse) by JanTheObscure
It's a quiet place,
this gated community
so well integrated and clean
the scent of magnolias
fills the air with spring promise
and squirrels leap bravely from tree to tree
It's a growing community
with well-mannered inhabitants
visiting hours always end early
but no one ever complains
visitors don't often stay long anyway
the lengthy silences are hard to sustain
It's a beautiful, peaceful place
I'll probably settle down there one day
and join the rest of the well-behaved neighbors
far removed from the city and all of its strains
but please don't mention this to my mother
she'll want me moving in right next to her
It's a place that will wait patiently
for me to join its extended society
but I fear the transition to this unfamiliar world
apart from the discords I've come to endure
the familiar always seems to feel so right
even when it isn't always so polite
It's a place I think I'll stop by today
and visit with mom at the usual place
I'll bring a bouquet of her favorite fresh flowers
in a new crystal vase etched with delicate forms
somehow I hope she knows that I care
even though she might not know that I'm there
Lately I've thought, is it so unlikely
that our loved ones continue to live and thrive
in an underground village after they've died
in the afternoon breeze I can hear the faint whispers
of those below us awaiting our arrival
in an underground world free of burden and hurt
Into this graveyard thousands have walked
and left offerings at the tombs of their dead
they tread the ground, never imagining
that a parallel universe exists beneath
a place that is neither heaven nor hell
and where death no longer is cause for fear
To each his own fantasy; this one is mine
families and lovers are joined one more time
in the cool, fragrant earth they play hide and seek
with children lost early, now healthy and complete
I find such a concept easier to accept
than to think of my loved ones as bones and nothingness
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.8410625
Overall Rank: 10662
Posted: September 23, 2005 11:35 AM PDT; Last modified: September 23, 2005 11:35 AM PDT
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Comments:
108 view(s)
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It's a quiet place, this gated
community so well integrated
The scent of magnolias filling
the air with promise of spring
the squirrels bravely leaping
from tree to tree to tree
It's a well-mannered community
though visiting hours end early
no one ever need complain
visitors don't often remain
long silences are hard to sustain
Patience is a patient's pace
It's an AABBBC CCDDDE EEFFFG...etc. Rhyme pattern.
See you don't have to change much to re-stylize your poem.
Just decide how you want it to be and do it.
It doesn't have to rhyme either it just has to sound good.
You are clearly affected by your situation and our reaction here. Please take it less seriously, more as rebuttal to our own clobberings.