Re: sap's pay by ay deee	zodiac 212.118.19.67	5-Oct-05/1:58 AM
Are you Kris Novoselic? Or the Meat Puppets?
Re: Why I’m Homeless by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.67	5-Oct-05/1:58 AM
Drop the colons. Great.
Re: Escape by Heather Dee	zodiac 212.118.19.67	5-Oct-05/1:56 AM
If I may make a suggestion, try rewriting this poem avoiding any rhymes you've ever heard, ever, in any poem or song. Ever. This would mean skipping go and know, pain and gain, find and mind, and probably eyes and ties, to say the least. Finding new rhymes will also help you to avoid those unfortunate cliches (since there's only so many places to lay your weary head, and that's your bed, for example.) In other words, if instead of saying "Take a moment to close your eyes" you said, oh, "take a moment to flex your sphincter" and then made it rhyme, you'd be bound to say something original, and therefore a hundred times more interesting than what you have. That's all. Great try, but please take my advice seriously. I know the tone of this comment is a little sarcastic, but that's only because I live in the middle of a great ugly desert without access to conventional forms of entertainment. I mean it. You can't write anything good while using cliche rhymes.
Re: a comment on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil	zodiac 212.118.19.67	5-Oct-05/1:49 AM
Is your friend gay? Who actually criticizes poetry for not rhyming enough?
Re: a comment on Sunrise On The Slag Heap by Caducus	zodiac 212.118.19.67	5-Oct-05/1:47 AM
You're so full of balls. Are you aware of how much you're making this shit up? I am. PS-For bonus points (or at least a shot at redemption), name an American holiday with "female soul".
Re: a comment on Without my Glasses by Niphredil	zodiac 212.118.19.67	5-Oct-05/1:44 AM
I speak fluent Arabic jive. It throws off my enemies, giving me time to throw a handful of sand in their eyes and disappear. Also, I live in the safe part of the Middle East, (the only Middle Eastern country without a major attack against tourists this year! 2100 Safe Days and counting! Woo-hoo,) the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. Also, I'm serious about speaking Arabic jive.
Re: Small Furies by Enkidu	oneglove 71.14.74.101	5-Oct-05/1:02 AM
awesome flow there were just a couple lines that seemed forced to keep in rhyme, make her dead and destroyed no doubt are the 2 that really didnt work for me. other than that i'm really impressed, its just so smooth and complete.
Re: hide and seek by oneglove	wilco 66.61.101.130	4-Oct-05/8:35 PM
not bad.
Re: Pebbles by Verse2Verse	wilco 66.61.101.130	4-Oct-05/8:27 PM
Some good stuff here, but trim it a little.
Re: A Light in the Dark by Verse2Verse	wilco 66.61.101.130	4-Oct-05/8:25 PM
It started out okay but then just sort of meandered into mediocrity. Shorten it up and try saying what you want to say with less.
Re: The chestnut by richa	wilco 66.61.101.130	4-Oct-05/8:17 PM
not bad, rich, not bad at all.
Re: Small Furies by Enkidu	wilco 66.61.101.130	4-Oct-05/8:14 PM
pretty good story...wouldn't surprise me if it were true. I don't like the title, though...it's almost doubling up since Satan is widely regarded to be the devil and vice versa.
Re: on passing through some small town by Dental Panic	tadpole 68.64.172.229	4-Oct-05/7:00 PM
I like it, funny, 8.5
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	tadpole 68.64.172.229	4-Oct-05/6:51 PM
I like the first 3 lines the best. I think you might like the poetry of St. John of the Cross. I noticed in your comments to people that you said you "shun the idea that God would rather speak to us through angels and preachers than simply directly through our own hearts." Yet you quote the Bible and speak of the Summa? What is wrong with God using things or people to speak to us. . .to our hearts even? Maybe that is the way He prefers to speak to our hearts at times and at other times He does it without any of this. Maybe He choses the how and not us. It would make sense afterall that He set it up however it is He does it if He is God.
Re: The chestnut by richa	Dovina 12.74.105.74	4-Oct-05/4:18 PM
If she drives an Englishman to France, she has more power than you admit.
Re: a comment on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	Dovina 12.74.105.74	4-Oct-05/4:13 PM
Does it have a plot? I must have missed it.
Re: a comment on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	Dovina 12.74.105.74	4-Oct-05/4:12 PM
Thnaks, B.
Re: a comment on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	4-Oct-05/2:20 PM
So the genius stricken are the only ones allowed to rhyme but Elstupido is given a free pass to write non-rhymes. Bad poetry is bad whether it rhymes or not. Maybe your friend just likes your rhyming poems and wanted to hear more. If you don't snub your nose at rhyme (which I don't believe you do) then why post this poem. Have any of us told you to rhyme more? You too good a writer for such triviality.
Re: a comment on A Meadow, Among Other Things by Enkidu	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	4-Oct-05/1:49 PM
I wonder if Rosanne Rosannadanna celebrated Ramadamadan.
Re: a comment on Why I’m Homeless by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	4-Oct-05/1:44 PM
Are you talking about the houseless or the apartmentless or the caveless or maybe the cardboard boxless. :P