Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones	richa 81.178.226.106	10-Jan-06/3:50 AM
When will the images come/And where will (they) come from. A damp day confounds the season(s) Or so my colleague(s) say; Or so my colleague says; The whole See such vulgar people as footballers./ Or so my colleague say;/I can’t recognise the overpaid fuckers. I quite cack handed. Sorry if that was fallacious/and I was pathetic. is a play on pathetic fallacy but why is fallacious the correct word for this poem.
Re: I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy	richa 81.178.226.106	10-Jan-06/3:45 AM
Ace. You don't have to mention the conception of an heir bit, that is implicit in the whole Henry VIII and Anne boleyn simile. I don't think the repetition of callused works either. If the man works trucks let the reader work out where the calluses come from.
Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/2:52 AM
Fresh, and spattered with emotions and scraps of thoughts that seem like they have gone straight from the head to the page.
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/2:44 AM
And is this all because I didnt like your poem?
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	10-Jan-06/1:59 AM
Kindly refer to "slaves and serpents". That's why you don't connect quickly. How will you ever understand a child/ children. And what do you know about being spiritual and sensitive to people's happiness? That doesn't seem to be your priority from how I see it. Asking weird questions to sound philosophical makes you seem so shallow. Well, you said it, you are banging on about something you know nothing about, whether you have children or not.
Re: a comment on A New Year Prayer by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	10-Jan-06/1:42 AM
<grin> I agree there have been a couple of mistakes, but the main theme has come through. Thanks for your review.....much appreciated. :-)
Re: a comment on A New Year Prayer by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	10-Jan-06/1:40 AM
Alchemy, you okay?
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:36 AM
On a more philosophical note, are you sure children should be the most important priority in life? Should it not be peoples happiness or perhaps something more spiritual, that may result in giving children a happy start to life being important, or am I just banging on about something I know nothing about, since I dont have children yet.
Re: portrait of powerlessness by digipoet	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:28 AM
Didn't like ending on the word sadism, would have voted [8-9] if the last line was secrecy, sadism, shame
Re: a comment on Slaves and their Serpents by cyan9	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:24 AM
Oh help me, I am so offended, no, Please dont call me stupid, what shall I do??
Re: a comment on floss every day by digipoet	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:22 AM
Dont you have a job?
Re: the light of a truly bright day by digipoet	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:21 AM
Accurate description, but the bullet like/ rapid statements dont bring you out into the bright day, a softer final sentance might add some relief e.g The persistance of night was overcome, I'm sure with nicer language you could do better than that example, but I do think the structure could be altered to massively improve this piece
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:15 AM
It is something that now that it is pointed out becomes more apparent to me. Not being a Uncle for another 3 months though means that it is something that I have experienced from time to time, and dont connect with quickly.
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	cyan9 217.40.63.105	10-Jan-06/1:12 AM
I thought, I might embarrass myself (It reads very nicely now)
Re: a comment on To Orange by Lifeboatman	Lifeboatman 170.65.128.6	9-Jan-06/9:37 PM
thanks...
Re: portrait of powerlessness by digipoet	PoeticXTC 205.188.116.139	9-Jan-06/9:14 PM
The History of Tyranny or is that tyrany???!!!!! Lmao!
Re: He Kissed Me by PoeticXTC	digipoet 71.82.119.230	9-Jan-06/9:00 PM
i like it the emotion is strong i'd maybe cut the last two stanzas though.
Re: a comment on portrait of powerlessness by digipoet	digipoet 71.82.119.230	9-Jan-06/8:55 PM
hmmm i already took off the line "why did you render me thus" but i can see your point too! thx
Re: portrait of powerlessness by digipoet	Dovina 69.175.32.104	9-Jan-06/8:37 PM
Try leaving off the last line, or make it the title.
Re: floss every day by digipoet	PoeticXTC 205.188.116.139	9-Jan-06/8:32 PM
lol, k. Touchin' rearly ever touched ground