Re: Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/7:58 AM
With the exception of 'unmatched and unmatchable' this made me think of The Island. Which, although I was sceptical, wasn't a terrible film. 'Called, with affection, odd' Marvellous. 9
Re: Desolation by Beyond_Dreams	Dovina 67.72.98.83	13-Mar-06/7:58 AM
Could do without so many uses of "my."
Re: Send The Devil... by horus8	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/7:53 AM
Awesome. Stanzas 2, 3 and 4 rocked my world, as did the final two lines. It's been too long since I last read your stuff.
Re: i want to know how the japanese type by hendrimike	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/7:43 AM
Brief, simple and fairly effective. The title was the best part though.
Re: Even the elephants by ecargo	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/7:40 AM
Vivid! Very few poems actually take me to the scene; this one is an exception. Once again I think your word choice is impeccable...no fault with this one whatsoever. Stanza 3 was great and stanza 4 was even better!
Re: Today's Spam by nentwined	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/7:34 AM
Ha! I never get these though, either my email is too obscure, or the hotmail junk filter is supreme ¬.¬
Re: The Tale of Hominus Ominus by Blue Magpie	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/5:34 AM
Pretty nifty, a decent tale of the human condition. It certainly takes courage to write something this lengthy and search for plenty enough rhymes without turning the reader off; you manage it very well. Stanza 5 was the best.
Re: Spoken word (draft) by Adriaan	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/5:27 AM
Decent fragment, the idea's pretty good - but I'm curious as to where you're going with it.
Re: Desolation by Beyond_Dreams	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/5:25 AM
Kind of defiant which is nice to see. The problem with it, though, is that it's all been written before. For example, 'broken dreams' makes me assume you listen to Green Day. If you could make this something new and innovative it would work well.
Re: Boundaries by Dhanesh M Kumar	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/5:23 AM
Either there's a hidden genius in this that I am blind to (entirely possible)...or you really do need to make some serious grammatical corrections. 'Four walls fortifying the realm(s?)' is good, 'make it to yell' is not. 'To yell' is the infinitive, and so in this context shouldn't be used with 'make it', which is present active. The three lines after that...I don't really know what they mean. 'The nature's statue that which bonds' could work, but needs punctuating. '...statue - that which bonds...' or something like that. The rest of the stanza sort of work although 'crinkle' would sound better as 'crinkling'. Stanza 3 - 'migrates' and 'divulges', as you are talking about a first person singular subject for both. I like the ending to it though. But I still have to ask - what does it all mean?
Re: i realize by http://robynhood	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-Mar-06/5:14 AM
Not bad, but it needs work. Stanza 1: First line is great but would profit from more imaginative language (give a bit of colour to it). Line two "your" should be "you're". "In confused nature" sounds too much like you're trying to be pseudo-philosophical. Stanza 2: again the first line isn't bad, but it gets meaningless with the second line. 'When together we're apart...' is fine, but 'when together we're apart and away' loses any real sense. It seems like you meant something else but didn't quite make it work as you intended. Stanza 3 is a little cliched - try and replace 3/4 of the lines with something a little more original. Stanza 4 is good. Hope these suggestions are of some use.
Re: a comment on The Tale of Hominus Ominus by Blue Magpie	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.109	12-Mar-06/11:07 PM
Dear Dovina, I thought I had implied the causes of Aggapus's problems, with 'brought forth a dream' and 'dallied inthoughts quite unreal' but here is another stanza he learned about poetry, painting and joy, and even today he still looks like a boy. He wandered, unknowing, far out of the world; as his dreamy illusions of wonder unfurled he lived like a phantom of ardent belief too lost in the beauty to see his own grief.
Re: i want to know how the japanese type by hendrimike	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.109	12-Mar-06/10:44 PM
Well I don't want to see Brokeback Mountain either, but the poem could do with a little more thought, some rhyme or rhythm, or beautiful language.
Re: i realize by http://robynhood	matt door 65.32.138.73	12-Mar-06/6:48 PM
Read this aloud before you post it next time - sounds quite improper - does it not? Thought and emotion are placed well - but grammar and meter is quite lacking.
Re: Boundaries by Dhanesh M Kumar	matt door 65.32.138.73	12-Mar-06/6:33 PM
Jubilant dolphin? Passionate bird? Giraffe's head? Erase this whole thing and start over.Sorry so harsh - but this really needs work.
Re: Crowded by INTRANSIT	matt door 65.32.138.73	12-Mar-06/6:26 PM
Common repetition?
Re: The Devil's Carnival by Ranger	drnick 24.176.22.254	12-Mar-06/6:15 PM
Another good one, nice title...my favorite line is one of the repeated lines, "flashing lights become a string of pearls," because its so gosh darn purdy. back to homework.
Re: a comment on Buried in the Booth (edit) by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	12-Mar-06/6:06 PM
thank you, my good friend. sorry that i've been away for a while...ive lost inspiration recently, as well as being buried in homework. ill be back soon, though.
Re: i realize by http://robynhood	http://robynhood 216.209.139.68	12-Mar-06/3:39 PM
in my mind as i read this everything is still a blur
Re: Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina	faithmairee 209.240.205.61	12-Mar-06/1:27 PM
i like poems that tell a story and this one was very good. I enjoyed it alot.