Re: behind the banister by FreeFormFixation	Skamper 202.6.130.219	17-May-07/1:35 AM
Chilling. Lyrical and a little mad.
Re: Portrait of the artist as [insert adjective] by Nicholas Jones	Skamper 202.6.130.219	17-May-07/1:31 AM
Charming self portrait.
Re: a comment on behind the banister by FreeFormFixation	Nicholas Jones 86.135.255.234	16-May-07/4:00 PM
I like colons. I hope to do for the colon what Ezra Pound did for the forward slash.
Re: a comment on Worn Ruse by drnick	Dovina 24.75.174.198	16-May-07/4:18 AM
I've been acted on by worn ruses and like to think I'm ruse-hardened, but never really am.
Re: behind the banister by FreeFormFixation	Dovina 24.75.174.198	16-May-07/4:12 AM
The colons in verse 1 are just silly. Do you mean hopped? The rest is pretty good, but too much repetition.
Re: garden spite by skaskowski	Dovina 24.75.174.198	16-May-07/4:08 AM
Start with "I rip down the gate . . ." But for what reason you want to do this I can't see.
Re: a comment on the magic rock by nypoet22	Dovina 24.127.101.16	14-May-07/3:49 AM
It doesn't clear anything up, but it's better in the edit. I think you could find a Bush quote that speaks more directly to the idea of listening to God - maybe not. He has been coy about it. Good and evil can be addressed without God, so to clarify would be to show how Bush claims to rely on what he thinks is revelation from the almighty. In a way Bush does strike a rock as Moses did in anger when God did not do what Moses wanted. That's a good analogy.
Re: a comment on Final Moon by Caducus	Caducus 88.108.16.8	13-May-07/11:46 AM
I meant clinical, its an end of the affair thing. The last line is the awareness its over
Re: a comment on the magic rock by nypoet22	nypoet22 65.8.0.18	13-May-07/9:00 AM
revised.
Re: a comment on the magic rock by nypoet22	nypoet22 65.8.0.18	12-May-07/11:01 AM
I added an introductory quote and a verse in the middle in an attempt to clarify. good? bad? other?
Re: a comment on the magic rock by nypoet22	nypoet22 65.8.0.18	12-May-07/10:58 AM
does this clear things up any?
Re: The Editor by Dovina	jessicazee 24.160.240.223	10-May-07/11:37 PM
drop everything except for the fruit stuff. LOVE: "their bent and pretty form."
Re: a comment on Altitude by half.italian	half.italian 76.172.249.205	10-May-07/8:38 PM
Ever done acid?
Re: Final Moon by Caducus	Dovina 24.38.49.2	10-May-07/1:27 PM
Really like; "My eyes, slave wet, journeyed through yours." Been there, done that; and that's what makes a poem. Do you mean "voile"?
Re: Altitude by half.italian	Dovina 24.38.49.2	10-May-07/1:09 PM
Can't see the point of this.
Re: The boomerang holiday by INTRANSIT	Dovina 24.38.49.2	10-May-07/1:05 PM
It's aged and antique compared to your style, but has a nice ring and a good point. those "who" think us . . . "fallest greenest" is just silly
Re: The Wingman by John Rambo	Dovina 24.38.49.2	10-May-07/1:00 PM
That isn't why. It's what you can get.
Re: Snow by MacFrantic	Dovina 24.38.49.2	10-May-07/12:57 PM
The first four lines portend a good poem, but the rest only continues to portend, never getting to the snow
Re: Fraser Allonby Quidnam Cruris by Stephen Robins	Dovina 24.38.49.2	10-May-07/12:55 PM
There once was a blob named Dovina, Christ, you'd have wept had you seen her, All of that weight, Squeeze into four feet and eight, She had the combined mass of Bosnia and Herzegovina. Pedaling west, halfway across Virginia tomorrow I'll crest the Appalachians just 3500 miles to go can you imagine the ruts in pavement? Where's Fraser? Haven't seen him all day.
Re: Worn Ruse by drnick	amanda_dcosta 121.247.152.123	9-May-07/10:10 AM
Bravo. Some psychological problem from how I see it and very well put. I like the phrase... Logic signs pass him by. You could do with an edit , but I think from one point of view, you've already made your point. Good work.