very nice, D. Poetic and all that. :0)

Well well.. old friend, how are you on this shadowed day?

I think you would do better to lose any rhyme here, even accidental. Good to see ya.

concerned. intersting. not sure i like it but it's better than the first time 'round

I wish I had more time.

Narrow space between the fog and the ground. Just right for crawling.

I see you pulled into a truc-um-up-stop for a little web-time with the home folks. Well, glad you did, we’re still here, but little’s goin’ on. Mostly, everyone’s ignoring the poems and arguin’ about racism and sex on somebody’s posting. Hit chat if you want. I’ll say your poem is good, and if your’re nice, give a 9 or sompn’. Welcome back.

Verse 2 is great. The last verse seems trite in comparison.

Death looks like my ex-mother-in-law to me. But each of us has our own boogie(sic) man we see, now that Rick James is dead.

Lyrics are tough to rate because of the singsong nature of the meter and the rhyme. I think it would work as long as Bono or Sting don't sing it.

I felt just like this once...a couple of times.

Evocative. Good use of dark, quiet images.

Enjoyable, I can allmost see you behind those walls.

Vote on mine I'll vote on yours!

Keep writing about writing, Have fat women sing, If the waiters must come Have them bring more bling bling

Seems to stop. abruptly. once too many, times. rewrite.

Ya know, I'd like to give this a zero, not because I don't like it, but for the 0's you've given me .. on better things. still, I think the o's are for others to come, but not from me.

Punctuation, 0 regret, 6 continuity, 2 {of again and shadows}? intensity 8. rewrite. total 6