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Pomegranate Girl (Free verse) by Caducus By the palace of gold
There stands a ruin
And beneath indented pillars
Is a fruit for sale
She has a name for everyman
Who gnaw at her unripe rind
Unpeeling her as six hands rape her
Itâs all about time.
The pomegranate girl takes her cut
Fat Buddhaâs in a thin fan
The toothless clinker takes his cut
Checking his ghetto concubineâs dry
He spits at her in the gutter
As she clicks her ruby slippers
Looking up at the stormy sky.
Up the ladder:
Bowling For Turpentine
Down the ladder:
Bowed
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.071429
Posted: August 17, 2004 9:46 AM PDT; Last modified: August 17, 2004 9:46 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.5143356 Overall Rank: 678 Comments:
[9]
INTRANSIT @ 204.110.227.60
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17-Aug-04/12:06 PM
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Reply
I wish I had more time.
I think you would do better to lose any rhyme here, even accidental. Good to see ya.
I like this one too, but the rhyme takes away from it, I think.
I disagree I think that the rhyming adds to the psuedo whimsical nature of the poem it adds a sarcastic twinge. However I feel that If you want to go this route then perhaps you should go all the way. I would Like to see this as a sonnet. But then again I'm just naturally one for pervercity.
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