Dovina
on Dads are suppose to stay by Brandy_n_Cali
21 Aug 2004, 7:23 AM
The thought is good, but the poem could use more of the devices that attract someone unfamiliar with you and your subject. I often say that the spirit of a poem is more important than it's form, but here form is lacking. You've got the hard part, the rest is easy.
No, I think punctuation is used by talentless grammar snobs to make them seem more literate(at least on this site).Its the technicality of punctuation that makes it artless, not the fact that it clarifies - clarification is the whole point of punctuation you freakin' moron!Instead of trying to defend your lack of thought, you might consider doing something about it.
Like,I don't know, maybe learning how to express yourself.
nice!! I like it! But hey keep your head up!
frdup717
replying on If time can not persuade, then one must goad. by SupremeDreamer
20 Aug 2004, 2:59 PM
i had a hard time following it too
maybe you should re-word some of it
I bet no one has read this without scratching thier head. Next time, write one about swallowing shot-puts for no reason. 9.
Not bad, like a lyric, could be sung at the opening of the Republican convention.
Sordid....... but rather nicely said!
dear zodiac,
Britishist, what the hell does that mean, I simply was validating Richa's superiority to those around him, I've heard of anglophile, but Britishist, does this mean I do or do not like British people, well I do like the boys they make good masters...
I thought I finished hurting your feelings on my page.
Most is a save for your information tenderhearted human:
Definition of qualifier-
A word or phrase that qualifies, limits, or modifies the meaning of another word or phrase.
That translates into save.
Oh I get it you don't understand what someone is saying unless it's taken word from word from a book
Why don't you go back and comment on your 3078th poem.
Silly human, I will be waiting for your response.
I do my business in the passenger seat of your car.
meow,
cat
oh since you like the whole post script thing.
i'd bet all my catnip that richa and dark angel are involved in some kind of relationship or live together, i'm sure of that, i guess you don't get the whole male female relationship dynamic, because you are single, because you are too busy on poemranker...lololol
The first verse is great, says it all.
Great poem, it made me smile.
I don't know...live and learn I guess...I was probably a bit harsh, I got heated in the moment you know? So it probably wasn't completely worthless..but who knows! :)
re: "Weâve become the people we swore we'd never be."
Didn't you ever say to yourself as a kid that you would never become an adult? Usually I won't clarify things like this, but for some reason I felt compelled to do so here. I meant that we've become adults and that we never (or at least I never) thought that I would actually become one.
Thank you for your honest critism, I certainly can do something with it in the future.
i tell myself the same thing all the time -10-
jeeze..............you guys have had alot to say on this subject.
but it seems to me that you are all saying the same thing in one way or another..........what brought about such an argument?
'80s
"Coldly smothering the fetus: rebellion"
That'll show those non-feotus-smothering government squares.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is it's better in my opinion to describe suppose without using the word suppose. Again just my opinion.
It's nice to be thought nice while cursed. Thanks, Wil.