poemranker ::My Pain For You by Enchantres

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Free verse № 110725

My Pain For You

Member since 2004 · Posted 18 Aug 2004 · 4 comments

Pain is not just pain It goes much deeper I want to reach it But I can't I try, I try so hard You want me to reach it, my pain So badly But then I see A light, so beautiful I want to forget Forget you forever Just like you forgot me I cry, I cry so hard My tears running My pain, it is gone, vanished A relief goes through my soul The pain became a memory

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mean 6.20 weighted 5.14 rank 5443 views 159 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

4 comments

[7] Dovina 18-Aug-04/4:35 PM Reply
Not a single English error that I can see. Wish I could do as well in another language. A good message for poetry and probably comes through as such in your native tongue. English is a clumbsy thing.
[6] G-F 19-Aug-04/12:31 AM Reply
I can dig the feeling of this, but I have one criticism and it's a criticism I have made of myself in the past, the word pain is such an easy word to use and it comes very naturally however there is a tendancy to dismiss it. For me it's a red flag word. I suppose what I'm trying to say is it's better in my opinion to describe pain without using the word pain. Again jsut my opinion. Otherwise I can dig it.
[7] Dovina › G-F 19-Aug-04/10:54 AM Reply
I suppose what I'm trying to say is it's better in my opinion to describe suppose without using the word suppose. Again just my opinion.
[n/a] Enchantres › Dovina 19-Aug-04/1:43 PM Reply
Thank you for your honest critism, I certainly can do something with it in the future.