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My Pain For You (Free verse) by Enchantres

Pain is not just pain It goes much deeper I want to reach it But I can't I try, I try so hard You want me to reach it, my pain So badly But then I see A light, so beautiful I want to forget Forget you forever Just like you forgot me I cry, I cry so hard My tears running My pain, it is gone, vanished A relief goes through my soul The pain became a memory

G-F 19-Aug-04/12:31 AM
I can dig the feeling of this, but I have one criticism and it's a criticism I have made of myself in the past, the word pain is such an easy word to use and it comes very naturally however there is a tendancy to dismiss it. For me it's a red flag word. I suppose what I'm trying to say is it's better in my opinion to describe pain without using the word pain. Again jsut my opinion. Otherwise I can dig it.




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