XxRuby_KillsXx
on A Stitch In Time by Dovina
22 Aug 2004, 11:57 AM
Hey...I didnt rate you..I dont leave comments or rate anyone..but I guess if it should that I rated you a one it must of been my friend. She is the one that reads the comments and replay to them if she wishes. All I do is post my poems. I read a few of them and I though they where good. So heres te ~10~ you deserve not a one. Tell me what peom you got rated a one so I could change that. bye bye always Ruby.
I would only shorten some of the phrases, otherwise great. For example:
narrowed to less than alone,
pulled beneath the ruin of was,
dropped upon the broken promise of forever -
a restless drunken dream
This is what I expect my kids will feel when I die. It's bearable, compared to having to live with their mother.
Innocent insight.
Yes, thereâs far too much love. Weâve got to scrub most of it away to get a look at whatâs under it and what matters. "Into one from this afternoon" is better. Think Iâll use it.
Xist means something like 'influenced by or attentive to the quality X'. I meant it in the sense that you're influenced negatively by the fact of someone's being British, racist, sexist and so on, which I'd think was easy enough to figure out from context.
Your comment on 'saves'/qualifiers is utterly shortsighted. Saying a qualifier and 'save' are the same thing is like saying the statement 'X - 2 > 0 for all numbers greater than 2' is weak because I 'saved' it by limiting the possible Xs to >2. If you can't see why that's a dim thing to say, you need your retinas reattached.
I've never said anything about how many poems I have or haven't read or commented on. Please stop making silly assumptions.
PS-I'm married to a woman. And 'lololol' doesn't make any sense to me.
Thanks,
zodiac
Would you say that money is used by business-inept money snobs to make them seem more rich? PS-You are a dork.
People who know how to punctuate do seem more literate. Because, you know, that's what 'literate' means. Punctuation isn't for artless people any more than it is for artful people. It's for anyone who needs punctuation to clarify their writing. Of course it's possible to write a good poeme without punctuation, but the vast majority of poemes do contain punctuation, and are all the better for it. Since poetry is all about the skillful use of language, it makes sense to know how to punctuate properly even if you don't always need it. You wouldn't be a painter if you had no control over your brush strokes, would you? I've got nothing against you for being inexperienced. But pretending it's a good thing to be ignorant by insulting nearly everyone who knows how to write correct English is obviously more than a little bit wallyish.
Very Langston Hughes-ish with the repeating of the first line.
Extremely lewd.
Even for you...
Cheers
I like the thought behind the lyrics - very nostalgic,yet depressing in a certain way.
Great last four lines (along with all the rest).
A morning love Into an afternoon love,
("Into one from this afternoon"? Too much love in this poem for my taste.)-10- Anyway it's good without my meddling.
im not quite sure what that means lol
All the worldâs an illusion
You are aware that one can order in viagra, correct?
What? Move.
Amazing, that should really do the trick!
You're funny... So what you're saying is that with enough happy thought focusing we can all fly off to Uranus, brilliant.
Thanks for the help.
I changed "one's" to "ones."
Doug
a tic turd on high whip.
Thanks, Dovina and a good suggestion...... I'll send a copy of my poem to George B. to find out if he would like to use my piece for, shall we say, "a kind of theme" for his covention.