R.I.P (Epitaphs)

Here I lay in all my strife A waste of a perfectly miserable life If you see my back, remove the knife And please jam it into my murderous wife Oh my lord this coffin reeks The rooms are cramped, the ceiling leaks But most of all here, no one speaks To the man who drowned in a drainage creek Yesterday I layed in bed I did not expect to wake up dead Apparantly my brand new meds Layed spider eggs inside my head Okay, here's what happened to me I jumped off a cliff, into the sea For a moment there, I felt so free But halfway down, I met a tree My name is Johnny Frederick Jones Beneath this message lay my bones On the driving test I hit the cones, The curb, a bike, and four payphones Some come back as mice or dogs I'd prefer human, and settle for frog Those slimy things that hop on a log And over my body that's dumped in the bog