nentwined
replying on genious by the_poetess
9 Mar 2005, 2:40 PM
Utterly. :)
who said God does not exist
who said Santa Claus does exist
who was trying to Prove anything
-nessa
thanks - :)
may i ask which parts you did not understand........simply for clarification........i might be able to explain them to you.......
-nessa
Us -truth seekers-, sometimes we run into a problem with our poetry when we want to say something and the urge to just ,um, archer?- the point overrides the tools used to create poetry. I find myself forcing obfuscation and declarification to "hide" what I'm saying and It's a Royal Paine-Diaz sometimes. Do you agree?
Just more poetry, please. Yeah, the whole portently /portentously thing has me bugged. Hot walk bugs you eh? How 'bout the lady with the chainsaw. Think she might let me use it to alter this?
"Blow the man down, bullies, blow the man down;
Way ay - blow the man down,
O Blow the man down in Liverpool town.
Give me some time to blow the man down. "
Sorry, doesn't work for me.
While it's a sentiment that wouldn't hurt to cram into a daily "why am I?" session, this talked about the situation from outside of it too much; make me feel how this thought applies directly to your life--grip me with context, colors, sights, smells, tastes...
_I_ am... What are you implying? :P
You can't even spell "arogant" right you shittle.
But don't worry, communists love to milk the slower herdlings.
I don't get the use of "portentously" here, though I like how it rolls. [[what portent does this state?]]
nor "a hot walk", which rolls less well repeated
piece doesn't gel for me, though I really like the individual bits not mentioned, individually.
More than a haiku, or just more?
Most of my "writing" has been fiction, of late; poetry happens when it moves me, or falls out of some orifice I didn't properly shut. ((Hmm. Never pictured my fingertips as an orifice before; odd. That's where poetry comes from. ;) ))
Thanks for the comment :)
Unless you're me in which case a stiff wind blew all my seeds out to sea and i'm just wilting now. Always good when you -ain't skeered. write more damnit.
burger, fries, shake, should all be the las words in each stanza. Put THAT in your cherry pie.
Well guys, here's the deal. I tried to find another word altogether, but I didn't find anything I liked. I went with portentously because I went back to the dictionary and decided this was the best solution. Anything else that bugs you? Feel free to drop the hammer.
Sweet, but the meter falls apart reducing its charm, and the repetition doesn't seem to have much point.
I don't get what you're trying to convey, here. :/
A good thought. Didn't move me as poetry, though.
simple, and the title adds some piece of elegance to it; but it's something that's been said a million times, and likely precisely like this at least a dozen, just from the common-ness of the words going together in the manner you used. ((though google would say these words had not yet been inscribed in the collective consciousness of the internet))
p.s. relized -> realized
not bad, but i really enjoyed the last sentance. it really brought it togeather and gave it more meaning over all.
ahhh on the contrary, to respond does not mean to accept. to accept this comment i would have to agree or approve of what you stated above. I do not accept it, therefore i refuse it. perhaps i mearly replied for the stimulation of confrontation....
never assume you know all the answers.
;)
~Autumn