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A Blind Child Speaks (Other) by Grandma I may not see the way you do
With eyes so bright and quick
But I know where flowers abound
And where the grass grows thick
I know if you are kinda little
And I know if you are tall
O I can see so many things
YOU may not see at all
I use my ears and hands for eyes
And make them see for me
I listen hard and gently touch
And thus it is I see
God must have a reason
For making me like this
Perhaps He meant for me to see
What other people miss!
Up the ladder:
Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator
Down the ladder:
Illegal Lying Sins
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: March 8, 2005 9:05 PM PST; Last modified: March 8, 2005 9:06 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7770 Comments:
Sweet, but the meter falls apart reducing its charm, and the repetition doesn't seem to have much point.
Umm, what repetition?
"O I can see so many things / YOU may not see at all"
"Perhaps He meant for me to see / What other people miss!" is the only direct repetition, but I suppose more what I wanted to say was something along the lines of-- You use an awful lot of words to say not so much. I understand that happens often when going for a cute tone, and I'm just as guilty of it sometimes, but it really doesn't work for me, here. Like watching a child skip along the road, where they trip over their shoelaces every other step. It might help if you hypothesized a few things that other people miss--not to the extent of a laundry list, but something more than "I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!" Perhaps. 152 view(s)
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blessings
~Autumn