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Today, last year was on a Sunday (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
I remember it well. I got up early, at 9 a.m. and started cleaning. I carefully arranged to just hide everything at a fingertips reach. I had the ring in my pocket, I had Rose in the Fridge, I had a card on my dresser, and the keys to my brother's car lying on the table. I called you at 11 a.m. and made sure, that you had saved most of the day for us. You were with your mother. You said you'd be another hour or two. So I sat and waited. I called you again at 2 p.m., the same reply. After 5, you still hadn't called me, much less showed up at my door. So I waited, some more, and called you at half past 6. Same reply but with less conviction. By 7, no call, and I knew. You weren't coming. All of this was wasted. By 8 I called you out. You had just begun to injury me. By thirty after 9 you had me bleeding. By 10 by I could feel the noose tighten around my neck. By 11 I was gasping for air as the chair began to fall. By Midnight, I cut the rope, and breathed anew.

Up the ladder: what I saw at work today
Down the ladder: Art of Ignorance

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.9
Weighted score: 6.45
Overall Rank: 730
Posted: March 7, 2005 9:06 PM PST; Last modified: March 7, 2005 9:06 PM PST
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Landon2

Comments:
[9] DurtKL @ 65.60.139.26 | 8-Mar-05/1:24 PM | Reply
hello, pink bunny
[9] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.67 | 8-Mar-05/7:30 PM | Reply
Easy day. These things usually drag on for months. Who the hell is Devilbuni?
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.30.149 > INTRANSIT | 8-Mar-05/8:31 PM | Reply
No Idea. They're profile from (I think its)frostclouds.com says they live in Connecticut.
[7] Rainbow_chaser @ 70.50.62.135 | 9-Mar-05/11:46 AM | Reply
not bad, but i really enjoyed the last sentance. it really brought it togeather and gave it more meaning over all.
[4] nentwined @ 64.60.192.130 | 9-Mar-05/2:55 PM | Reply
cute. the beginning was a bit commonplace, and the middle dragged; the ending then felt rushed. I suppose the main complaint is that this is a laundry list, and those are nearly impossible to give substance too, even when this is entirely a story as well. I think you rely too much on the form, here.
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