zodiac
on do you talk out loud in public? by peaceseeker
16 Jun 2004, 3:20 PM
Do you have any idea how silly your title is?
"I am most definitely my own person. I am funny, honest, outgoing, quirky (hence the s/n), unique...and as everyone I have met says...I am 'special'."
I think your website sums you up in a nutshell. You really are special, and I hope you always remember how lucky you are to be that way. It's because of your wonderfully unique personality that you can sit down and write whatever pops into your head, just like you've done with this piece. I really think you hit the nail on the head when you said that life's questions just seem to be open ended with no definite answer. I guess everyone has their own opinion on life and death and what we are destined for. Opinions are everything, and there really is no such thing as a wrong opinion. Apart from those opinions that say that other opinions are wrong, in which case those opinions are the wrong opinions, not the opinions they claim to refute. What do you think? Great poeme -10-
Got better - hooked me more toward the end. My 2 cents. Good first couple of lines though, so got me interested. :) Some reworking and this could be killer. I dig the message. Nice work!
Not so bad.
Look, Doug, I know you think I'm a "nitpicking dickwad" and a "bore", but please try to pay attention for a second. This is as close to real criticism as I get on this site.
The entire central conceit of this poem (that Perfection and Profound beget Hope) is totally wrong. If anything, Hope and An Infinite Amount of Monkeys and A Finite Amount of Time produce Perfection, but even that's pretty much crap, too. The point is, Perfection and Hope are pretty much unrelated - or at best inversely related. If there were no such real thing as Perfection, people would still Hope. And, in fact, if there were such a thing as Perfection, and it was common enough, then there would be no such thing as Hope.
And besides, Perfection and Profound aren't even the species. If they were to breed, they could only produce some horrific Adjenoun which any half-decent midwife would wisely smother with a pillow. I would recommend picking some new abstract qualities and giving this another shot. Or even better, stop writing poems based on your bad idea of what poetry's supposed to be, which is apparently Big Capitalized Abstractions, and write something about, I don't know, your deep personal feelings or something.
Thanks,
zodiac
PS-The most appropriate response to this comment is not: "So? Your central conceit is wrong too and I gave all your poems multiple zeros."
nice poetry, but you need to work on your grammar skills, punctuation... and a little spelling.. but other than that, I like it
true to the end
Not bad - better than anything "god's wife" ever wrote!
made me giggle. :)
I love poems like this 10/10
look at user titan69 he has lots of this sort of poem
Dont forget YANKY BOY if it wasent for us English
you lot wouldnt egsist!!
kinda like the poem though.
Writing a poem where you admit your failings in writing the poem is a great idea!
Cf. crystal lane swift.
Very well done,but title may need to be changed.
I like it!
Keep trying you'll get it.Do not listen to "god's wife"!!
So graphic!I hope your o.k.
seriously.
I wish "god's wife" would read her own "poetry" a little more often,instead of dashing other's hope for being heard.
You are a much better critic than you are a writer!
Try polishing your skills as a critic and abandon writing completely!
A little venting going on? I liked it though. I bless you with an honest 8.