Move on and seek closure

nice...just nice, keep writing

Do you sell cars?

The last 4 lines are especially nice.

I still think it's one of my bests.

By jove this is dandy. One would remove the repetitiomn of 'i' in last stanza my boy.

Blast ! this is hot diggity dog a wonderful accomplishment, starlkly original.

thanks, this much I-------------------------------I

Well done son - I gave it a nine. Could use just a bit of amendment.

Oops. Dilapidated. Anything else? i could find anything, so.

The ending's a sad an pleasant irony. Caps at line starts seem formal for a story poem

The last 2 verses could stand better alone. Try leaving out "it is"

the ending is good - try a little amending though. -8-

I like it, its really nice and I understand it soo much. Great Job!

To the one you hung up on, This is not bad at all. Surprised? Not being noticed by someone who should care is a very sad feeling. Sometimes the only one who takes notice is one who should not rightly care. Therein lies the gold in an otherwise sandy desert that it's best to get used to. "existed" "No one"

All the words seem to fall into their places nicely.. -9-

Nice feeling but the words could be more powerful - I liked it though it could use revision. -7-

I'll be honest...I didn't read it *6* Now I'll be dishonest...Keanu Reeves is a prolific pioneer of well acted films, and he should refrain from having his vocal cords and face burned/lacerated by chemicals, prefferably in pill form, blue or red. (I love irony)

Unbelievably appalling. I shan't comment further on the poetry, but will give you the following important Life Tip: an apostrophe usually indicates a missing letter(or letters). In the case of "wouldn't", the missing letter is the "o" of "not". That's how you know the apostrophe must be between the "n" and the "t". Not between the "d" and the "n". Demonstrate your understanding by correctly placing the apostrophe in the following words: wouldnt, couldnt, thats, theyre (4 marks)

This poeme made me realise that the time to turn to Christ is now. You can't count on a death-bed repentance if you want to get into Heaven; by the time you're ready to know Jesus, it could all be too late. Then where will you be? God has given us all a chance to share eternity with Him. He made us so that we could worship Him as often as possible and then get into Heaven. He didn't make us to just sit around shunning Him the whole time. Sometimes I wonder why I don't always turn to Jesus, and I think it all comes down to a stubborn refusal to accept that there is a higher power out there, and that I am weak and sinful. What do you think?