Blindpoetry
on some deleted poem
15 Jan 2005, 7:53 PM
I laughed and then sat for a second and thought about it.
Bacons not real food anymore?! I feel like that dog.
It's BACOOOON!!
Sounds like the yearly Bible Reader that always visited my Elementry and Middle School. lol
I didn't get the last line, though.
:-/
Yes, I understand Katie. It's how I answer his questions, then re-answer when he asks again. Nicely done.
You've been reading too much sci-fi. I remember the clickity clack of a typewriter. Kids today will remember the .wav bytes of Quicken if they live to see their obsolescence.
Methinks you use too many parens.
I feel this very strongly.I'm 26years old and find myself at times still questioning my beliefs not just in religion though.Sooner or later it will come to me.I left a reply to you under a comment you left on my poem.I enjoy what I've read of yours so far.
so very well written
-mega
LOL
Hell yes dude, I like this one. And Happy Birthday, I'm guessing it was recent.
Yeah dude, I like it. It's really basic, but also universal. We've all been there. I just wish you would've added more details, but maybe that ain't your style. Anyway, good.
Ooooooooooh. Very cool in a stalkerish kind of way. And I like how you waited til the end to include that most important detail.
Like one of Shakespeareâs boring sonnets, too much gush, too little substance. I'd give most of his the same vote.
From the title, I take it as a pipedream. "in your birth canal grows the concept of my desire" a very sensuous line if spoken in the right time and place,
Why all the repeats? Even without them, it's a lot of words. The "burn" "slice" "Kill" verses are good.
The first verse is very tender and warm. The first two lines of the second verse give it all away.
dancin_n_da_moonlite
on Some place west of here, or the big blah blah. both apply by horus8
15 Jan 2005, 4:26 PM
uhhhhhhh............its interesintg.........and for that........ill be generous.............6
excellent
-mega
I would have really liked this more.
If it had more of a point. Maybe.
And if their is. I don't see it.
But I liked the way you wrote it. And what you used to make it so alternative.
So despite its lack in... reason. and. the why'ness.
Your creative bland Davey and Katie make up for it.
It's just so. Weird.
very interesting......though perhaps.......a little too long................i give it ...........a 6
quotation marks like odd raindrops, which is cool. Unfortunately, I voiced the poem with the dog from that very odd religious claymation show "Davey and Goliath".
I think in a very real sense, we are all pregnant with our own demises. Some get that way but bottling up their emotions and forgetting to parp, others by having unprotected sex on a daily basis. Actually most people do a combination of both, but some, like Mother Teresa, never had sex with anything, so her demise was ultimately brought about by almost a century spent bottling up emotions and forgetting to parp. When she eventually did snuff it, they tell me her parp was heard as far north as Derbyshire.