DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Rain

Member since 2004 · Posted 15 Jan 2005 · Edited 24 Jan 2006 · 20 comments

"Do you want to go outside Katie?" "But it's raining, Davey." "But do you want to go outside Katie?" "Okay Davey." "Do you feel the rain Katie?" "Why wouldn't I Davey? " "But do you feel the rain Katie?" "Not really, Davey." "Do you know why it rains Katie?' "Well they taught us in science Davey." "But do you know why it rains Katie?" "I guess not, Davey." "Do you want to stay out here forever, Katie?" "I have things to do, Davey." "But do you want to stay out here forever Katie?" "Yes, I really do, Davey."

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.09 rank 6140 views 289 View voting details →

2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

20 comments

[7] Blindpoetry 15-Jan-05/7:34 PM Reply

I would have really liked this more.
If it had more of a point. Maybe.
And if their is. I don't see it.

But I liked the way you wrote it. And what you used to make it so alternative.

So despite its lack in... reason. and. the why'ness.
Your creative bland Davey and Katie make up for it.
It's just so. Weird.

[7] Blindpoetry › Blindpoetry 15-Jan-05/7:36 PM Reply

then again. Now that I actually thought about it.
This style is sort of bad. I mean. Good for like. two stanza's ...and then use something different from then on, after the two stanza's...

Because you can basically PREDICT what Davey's going to say.
And that's just boring as hell.

[n/a] dancin_n_da_moonlite › Blindpoetry 15-Jan-05/7:37 PM Reply

wow...okay then.............so the whole idea of looking deeper in to things is obviously lost to you
~pity~
-mega

[7] Blindpoetry › dancin_n_da_moonlite 15-Jan-05/7:43 PM Reply

Look.
Don't get pissed at me or pity ME because your poem is predictable.

I was just sharing the thought so you might can work on it in the future?

It's rare that I actaully try to help here.
Think of it as a compliment that I share my thoughts.

Don't get pissed and say I can't look at anything deeply.
I'm a fucking teenager. I'm supposed to find everything deeply. And sad. And shit.

[7] Blindpoetry › Blindpoetry 15-Jan-05/7:44 PM Reply

btw, I'm not trying to say 'LISTEN TO ME OR YOU'LL BE CRAP FOREVER'

I was just... suggesting. :)

[n/a] dancin_n_da_moonlite › Blindpoetry 15-Jan-05/7:54 PM Reply

btw.......i'm a fucking teenager too.........and im sorry if i sounded pissy......im in a bad mood.......i responded to your poem however.....before i even read any of your comments.................youve written alot of poetry............how old r u anyway (and just so you know.........i wrote this like 3 months ago.....i just am sending my stuff........in order......so that......it will all be here.......eventually......)

-mega

p.s.--------hope i didn't come of, as a total bitch -- ya know

[7] Blindpoetry › dancin_n_da_moonlite 15-Jan-05/8:05 PM Reply

lol

I'm fourteen. Been here, sending crappy poetry as I write them, since 2003. I have way more. But just the sight of them will sting the most unpenetrable eyes.

I've gotten my share of mean people here. eh. It's what Poemranker is made of. *cough*Dark Angle*cough*
I'm not making this into a sorry fest.

But I wasn't trying to be mean. either.

[n/a] zodiac › Blindpoetry 17-Jan-05/5:56 AM Reply

This is a pathology of vote-grubbing asskiss.

[7] Blindpoetry › zodiac 17-Jan-05/8:33 AM Reply

Yeah. Well.
I know a certain Angel who's done the same

[7] Blindpoetry › zodiac 17-Jan-05/8:40 AM Reply

And you can find the whole tale by typing in 'Blindpoetry' or 'blueblindbee' into the search box.

I'm thinking about selling the story.

[9] Dovina 15-Jan-05/8:19 PM Reply

Yes, I understand Katie. It's how I answer his questions, then re-answer when he asks again. Nicely done.

[7] Blindpoetry › Dovina 15-Jan-05/8:33 PM Reply

I'm hearing an audience again.
And their laughing.

Dunno if it's at me. But they are.laughing. :-/

[n/a] dancin_n_da_moonlite › Blindpoetry 15-Jan-05/9:36 PM Reply

um.....okay then.......i didnt hear it (?)

so, yeah........well................now that it is established noone was trying to be mean........maybe i will read some of your poetry posted somtime.........im 15 by the way.........and have only been writing since.....thanksgiving......but have written 59 poems to date......since then

-mega

[9] Dovina › dancin_n_da_moonlite 16-Jan-05/6:06 PM Reply

I'm only laughing at myself, the fact that I have been in Katie's place and answered a man as she answered. The best thing about a poem is to find myself in it.

[7] Shuushin 16-Jan-05/6:36 AM Reply

quotation marks like odd raindrops, which is cool. Unfortunately, I voiced the poem with the dog from that very odd religious claymation show "Davey and Goliath".

[n/a] dancin_n_da_moonlite › Shuushin 16-Jan-05/11:12 AM Reply

one part: thanx
one part: ummmmmmm okay then.......?

-mega

[n/a] tangerinepuddle 17-Jan-05/3:15 PM Reply

okay,

[9] Dovina 24-Jan-06/11:23 AM Reply

I wish you would not recycle all of your poems in one day. Give us a break!

[6] god'swife 25-Jan-06/7:21 PM Reply

Looks are deceiving.

[8] ALChemy 29-Jan-06/12:47 PM Reply

Considerate of you to stop before Davey asked Katie for a BJ. I kinda like this though, really.