Rendered Genderless

Member since 2004 · Posted 16 Jan 2005 · 8 comments

Take away my genitals And then take away my mind. Throw me over Niagara Falls. I will tell you what you'll find: A little piece of Heaven And a few loose strands of Hell, A refining light of Zen All inside a broken shell. I am not out to conquer And I'm not out to deceive. I may be mediocre But I know what I believe. I will believe in freedom And I will believe in me. I'll know that I can become Anything I want to be. Don't you tell me who I am And then pretend that I'm free. I will never eat the ham That you place in front of me. Just know everything I am And that all I'll ever be Will never give a damn About what it is you see. Inside me is a person With a fire burning true Whose hopes will never worsen No matter what you do. I know what I deserve And will one day extol As long as I preserve My honor, heart, and soul.

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mean 7.38 weighted 5.64 rank 2160 views 183 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

8 comments

[10] deleted user 16-Jan-05/2:01 AM Reply

Hell yes dude, I like this one. And Happy Birthday, I'm guessing it was recent.

[7] Dovina 16-Jan-05/6:55 AM Reply

Good meter and rhyme, but the message is overstated. Lines like "I can become Anything I want to be" don't cut it, not in my world. I hear what you're saying, but please keep it real.

[9] Dan garcia-Black 16-Jan-05/10:19 AM Reply

Overstated but real as a cheeseburger and a milkshake-9-.

[8] dancin_n_da_moonlite 16-Jan-05/11:26 AM Reply

nice.....i like the ham part..........and the theme is good.......though i feel you go on just a tad longer than what is most effectiv...........

-mega

[10] zodiac 17-Jan-05/5:41 AM Reply

Can you write a rhyme without it being a total nonsequitor? I bet not. The best part was the ham bit.

[10] zodiac 17-Jan-05/5:45 AM Reply

PS-I was expecting to read a poem about being rendered genderless, which I've always imagined being able to do on some impermanent basis. Unless by "eat the ham" you mean something below my capacity for contemplation, this is not even close.

[8] tangerinepuddle 17-Jan-05/8:21 AM Reply

you know I love this one, but I do agree with dancin n da moonlight's comment....doesn't need to go on quite as long

[7] Caducus 18-Jan-05/6:53 AM Reply

Everything seemed good till Stza 4 which reminded me of whitney houston and that is not good. However the rests peachy.