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Rendered Genderless (Other) by PsydewaysTears
Take away my genitals And then take away my mind. Throw me over Niagara Falls. I will tell you what you'll find: A little piece of Heaven And a few loose strands of Hell, A refining light of Zen All inside a broken shell. I am not out to conquer And I'm not out to deceive. I may be mediocre But I know what I believe. I will believe in freedom And I will believe in me. I'll know that I can become Anything I want to be. Don't you tell me who I am And then pretend that I'm free. I will never eat the ham That you place in front of me. Just know everything I am And that all I'll ever be Will never give a damn About what it is you see. Inside me is a person With a fire burning true Whose hopes will never worsen No matter what you do. I know what I deserve And will one day extol As long as I preserve My honor, heart, and soul.

Up the ladder: Gravity Rides
Down the ladder: Easier To Say Good-bye

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.375
Weighted score: 5.638736
Overall Rank: 2161
Posted: January 16, 2005 12:41 AM PST; Last modified: January 16, 2005 12:41 AM PST
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[10] deleted user @ | 16-Jan-05/2:01 AM | Reply
Hell yes dude, I like this one. And Happy Birthday, I'm guessing it was recent.
[7] Dovina @ | 16-Jan-05/6:55 AM | Reply
Good meter and rhyme, but the message is overstated. Lines like "I can become Anything I want to be" don't cut it, not in my world. I hear what you're saying, but please keep it real.
[9] Dan garcia-Black @ | 16-Jan-05/10:19 AM | Reply
Overstated but real as a cheeseburger and a milkshake-9-.
[8] dancin_n_da_moonlite @ | 16-Jan-05/11:26 AM | Reply
nice.....i like the ham part..........and the theme is good.......though i feel you go on just a tad longer than what is most effectiv...........

[10] zodiac @ | 17-Jan-05/5:41 AM | Reply
Can you write a rhyme without it being a total nonsequitor? I bet not. The best part was the ham bit.
[10] zodiac @ | 17-Jan-05/5:45 AM | Reply
PS-I was expecting to read a poem about being rendered genderless, which I've always imagined being able to do on some impermanent basis. Unless by "eat the ham" you mean something below my capacity for contemplation, this is not even close.
[8] tangerinepuddle @ | 17-Jan-05/8:21 AM | Reply
you know I love this one, but I do agree with dancin n da moonlight's comment....doesn't need to go on quite as long
[7] Caducus @ | 18-Jan-05/6:53 AM | Reply
Everything seemed good till Stza 4 which reminded me of whitney houston and that is not good. However the rests peachy.
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