zodiac
on Itâs the Management by Dovina
25 Feb 2005, 10:48 PM
I don't think you have a really good idea what you're trying to say.
Wow, I just read three good poems in a row. I don't know what to do....
We had an earthquake here a week or so ago. People just sat there with stupid looks on their faces until it was over. I'm telling you, if the big one ever does hit the New Madrid Fault, there's going to be a lot of dead fuckers around here.
Not your best by a long shot, but still pretty good.
Finally, something on the best list that deserves to be there. Well, at least until some anonymous fucking idiot knocked it off. *sigh* Oh well, one day all will be right.
Has a lyrical rhythm to it and I wonder if this would do better as lyrics rather than free verse poem, due to some inconsistency in line breaks and rhyme schemes.
It was an enjoyable read nonetheless and the matter was great.
Verdict: Beautiful!
That poem was rather amusing. Especially the part abi=out the "RU-CUS". Funny enough for a 1.
the feet are inconsistent. good effort, maybe just rework it a bit.
Simply beautiful. Haikus speak volumes in mere 17 syllables.. This is a stupendous example with beautiful imagery.
Great work!
The best part was "my hair was dark and short".
Beautiful work! I'd have loved to see this with the odd rhymes struck out but it was great nonetheless.
You have out-cliched cliche. Well done. Sorry if that came across as being insensitive.
This reminds me of "one two, buckle my shoe; three, four, shut the door...etc". Except I enjoy that poem. 2
Lol..that was good.
By the way, what's the job of a fireman during earthquake disasters?? May be they do have work, just that I'm unaware of it! ;)
Nice poem!
creative. not terribly meaningful, but the form has some limitations that I must take into account. 7 sounds about right.
A: Heat? Heart-line 7
B: We already have a pinkfluffybunnyrabbitofdoom. no kidding.
C: You're 21. I hope you've had some life experiences by now that you can tap into. This poem is too simple.
D: Case in point, line 3 rewrite: All I see in his eyes is a reflection of myself. OR His blue m and m eyes with ms' too large to see through.
Telling vs showing. look around for an image. Read everything. Everything!!! My motorcycle pants are called barrier pants. I saw the label as I was sitting on the toilet. I may use this in apoem some time. Again, Read EVERYTHING! billboards magazines pillbottle labels. There are images and poetic symbols and stuff all over the place. We don't just think out of the box at p/r. We shredded our boxes then burned them and used the ashed to feed our Begonias. Poetry isn't just about feelings, it's about finding NEW ways to express what we feel. Be creative. Be absurd Go nuts.
G'mornin, D.
Punctuate at the line ends.
Delete the "all" before flattery, and make flattery 3 syllables.
Write this in real English.
Write it on a real topic.
it's good to get this out of your system, but...
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i