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Corner Shop, 5 Quinton Road (Free verse) by Caducus
Ravaged by age
arced away from skies
pavement slabs roll
until grey becomes green.
Beneath the metal flag
she enters the shelter,
contorting as she sits,
aped by girning monkeys
Who love their Grandmaâs.
Every Tuesday she waits,
for the 9.12 to Quinton Road.
To hear her name spoken kindly
by David in the corner shop.
Tescoâs is nearer and cheaper,
full of cantering blurs
beeps and name wearing do-gooderâs
who lower there tone for the crippled,
calling her âloveâ if sheâs lucky.
As she enters the corner shop
the old bell rings
and heater rattles
David holds the door
softly speaking her name:
âHello Dorisâ.
She crooks her neck to look him in the eyes,
to greet him properly.
Then her eyes damson
at a sign on the wall
âclosing down saleâ.
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.1666665
Weighted score: 5.313765
Overall Rank: 3572
Posted: December 6, 2004 2:27 AM PST; Last modified: February 25, 2005 3:17 AM PST
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Comments:
306 view(s)
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Some unusual and interesting language, "aped by girning monkeys," "cantering blurs," which needs a comma, I think.
"there tone" should be "their tones." Right?
The last verse lacks the punctuation of the first two.
Interesting!