Re: Friends? by poodietat	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.17.200	8-Jun-05/2:58 PM
interesting take on friendship.
Re: Life by sacred_poet_me	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:45 PM
Sentimentally touching. It really taught me what life truly means. The words flowed smoothly, and the repetition of the word 'life' really enhanced the poem. My favourite part is when how s_p_m described the reminders by using the spectrum. It sounded really nicely. Also the ending was spectacular. “One minute I’m here, and the next I’m gone. Into another dimension of darkness.”He really portrayed death in an impressive and dramatic way. Nice wordplay.
Re: Oh by sacred_poet_me	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:47 PM
Nice song but I think it's a bit lengthy. -7-
Re: sunset by celticskatermatt1	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/7:04 PM
Touching. Bravo.
Re: 2 Faced by jasondingus	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:08 PM
I am not familiar with the voting system...so was not sure of the number to choose. I chose a 2, to be nice. You may be a young person, and a new writer just starting out. The use of commas to break this up (Into the future, im determined to go, Haunted by the past, that still holds me so, I try to think about, the future so bright, But end up remembering, that endless night,) make one read this in a haulting manner...I suggest using commas only where they are needed, (or try thinking: where you would naturally pause). im should be I'm. I see a lot of small mistakes like this in the several pieces of yours that I have read, and it detracts from it. Other than that, personally, I wonder how old you are. You seem young...in content, subject matter and gramar/word usage. It just seems "immature" to me, all the way around. No depth.... I have read a billion mediocre pieces just like this one.
Re: You tell me I suck *2* by Dead Poet	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:11 PM
This is poetry? Hmmm....and to call someone ignorant, and then to use 'your' for 'you're' (as in, you are), REPEATEDLY....sorry...not impressed...at all.
Re: Colorado by Voth269	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:16 PM
This is only the fifth poem I have read in here...is it just me?! Maybe random is not the way to go...okay...I suggest a comma after 'world', and before 'no doubt'. Do the mountains look wild or tame? could you have elaborated? Could you have painted us a picture? Could you have painted the details of the contrast in colors and textures of plants? I have a suspicion that you could do more and better, if you elaborated, painting a picture with your words.
Re: For W. by A. Nomaly	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:23 PM
okay...at least this one made me stop to pause, and think, and then try to picture what you said here. I think I'll give THIS one something above a 2...(my 6th one to read on this site)At the least, I think it is interesting, though I am not a fan of this type of piece...at the most, I think you make the reader wonder what lies beneath and behind such a statement. I would like to see this expanded and elaborated on...I suggest continuing the thought started here.It does not seem complete...but perhaps it is, as only you can say.
Re: Morning Dreams by ObiWonKn	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:39 PM
"Droplets of you Remain on my branches Dew in the morning The sunlight shines through"....I am stingy with the compliments...that said...awesome lines here! Of course, it sounds vaguely like me, but I can't claim you stole it (as I'd like to be able to), as I have yet to post here! LOL! I also liked the last, very much! "Suddenly, I see you And it isn't just a dream The stars are glitter Dancing through your hair The bitter taste of goodbye Is no longer there Just you Very nice...will be snooping around to see what other morsels you have left lying about. I felt the middle sections were not of the same caliber as the favorite lines I just pointed out. I am giving you a fairly high score (in the way I have been voting), for the lines I mentioned above, and because, having only read a limited number of pieces, this one made me feel hope that I would find a gem among the rough.
Re: The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	zodiac 212.118.19.246	8-Jun-05/10:16 PM
Horus8, on rockmage: "What you did was give nentwined, shushin, intransit, richa, abcedarian, and shanon8764565, triple sets of tens on all of their poems to cover your ass, so no one would mind when you gave me 900 zeros." 15-Nov-03 -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.: "rockmage awarded this poeme 9. The average score awarded by rockmage is 9.51. Therefore rockmage has deemed this poeme to be below average." 27-Jan-04 zodiac: "penguin received on his last post the lowest score I've ever seen rockmage give - a 5." 27-Jan-04 Horus: "So let me get this straight you give people you like tens whether you've read the material or not, and people you don't like zeros using the same method? And we wonder what went wrong with democracy? lol." 15-Nov-03 Fraser Allonby: "I think it's silly to have more than one username. By the way, I notice that rockmage has many additional usernames: newagepoet2000, fatmansinging, sixtoedwonder, flouredweevle, assisenormus, masticatedmess, andyourhorsetoo, wahwahwahwha, gourdgrabber, sickerofdogs, foothangingoutofass, smarmyfaurt, lackoforiginality, Isureamstupid, and bulgingbuttocks." 4-Feb-04 rockmage: "Tis true. From my zero war with horus8." 4-Feb-04 The surprising thing about all of this isn't that it's all been done before, nor even that someone could think most of our poems deserve zeros. It's that rockmage still seems to be under the illusion that he's objective and literary.
Re: matrimonal enemy by hendrimike	zodiac 212.118.19.246	8-Jun-05/10:46 PM
Idle question: Is there any machine in any part of America that still runs on nickles? PS-Your votes disappear when you edit. Don't bother complaining to nentwined about it. It'll just make you embarassed in the morning.
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.246	8-Jun-05/10:58 PM
Okay, sleep isn't worth keeping in the second line just for the rhyme. Also, as far as I know, most of them didn't die in heaps, as the poem suggests. At least, it would be extremely impractical to get people into heaps and then get them to wait while you killed them. If I were a warring tribesman, I'd kill them wherever they were and THEN put them in heaps. Assuming they didn't find a way to do it, that kills about your whole first four lines. Also, check this out: "KIGALI (Reuters) - The 1994 Rwandan genocide claimed 937,000 victims according to a census the Rwandan government conducted in 2001, a cabinet minister said on Sunday." So, apparently the census takers and calculators, et al, did do the job and you've got the wrong figure in your title (unless you're counting only Tutsis, which isn't exactly fair.) I don't understand fire brigade. I mean, yes, there was burning, but I think you mean the term to mean the people shooting, not the people burning. The firing squad is never called a fire brigade. The fire department is. "bleekness" -> bleakness.
Re: sunset by celticskatermatt1	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	8-Jun-05/11:08 PM
Why did you ruin this with this ridiculous 'ur' and 'u'? You want to be cool hip? Write EVERYTHING phonetically and digi lingo then. All teenyboppers will be so touched as to shower you with Tens.
Re: Afraid of the dark. by darby pyn	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	8-Jun-05/11:25 PM
Good story. Now make it readable. Could be that you're far ahead of your time, of course.
Re: Afraid of the dark. by darby pyn	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	9-Jun-05/1:22 AM
This poem sucks ass. it stutters, it slurs. vague hack writers piss me off. stale malnourished weak shit thrown in every direction sticking to all the unfortunate souls who’s eye’s are sacrificed for one wrong turn. why me GOD. whhhyyyyy. WHO IS THIS FUCK. oh......it’s me. I have to quit drinking.
regarding some deleted poem...	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	9-Jun-05/1:46 AM
Excellent. they. whoever they are. you know who you are. want it so carefully painted with continuity and predictability the ideal vision with no room for originality. poetry, free form writing, whatever title is a preferred. is dreaming with no boundaries. their are no rules. be entertaining and honest. either would suffice.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.67	9-Jun-05/10:22 AM
Anyone disagreeing with this poem's sentiments has no compassion for the dying.
Re: Too Tired for a Title by woodstock20000	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.67	9-Jun-05/10:26 AM
Things will work out once you fill that empty pot with alcohol. Just look at me!
Re: Why? by windyone	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.67	9-Jun-05/10:41 AM
I liked many of the following phrases and words in your poem but not in the order presented. This is not a re-write. This is only a list. If this list were a real poem, I would have stolen it and made it my own. Writing helps to set us free Do you feel better when you take away hope? Sometimes people are just starting out You don't always know what others are going through the way that you write cuts like a knife you criticize because you can't cope words can hurt Do you feel better? Why?
regarding some deleted poem...	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.154.163.157	9-Jun-05/5:38 PM
Every year, 2.45 billion prawnes die of starvation or AIDS. A further 1.72 billion are massacred for their pelts, which despite the UN embargo on prawne trafficking still fetch extortionate prices on the Taiwanese black market. We eat the rest, wantonly, and without shame, discarding the precious chitinous husks into the bowls provided. Are we without compassion for the prawne? Why is it that the Bush administration can spend 1.75 billion dollars prosecuting a War on Terror, and yet the crustacean agenda barely parps up a mention in the President's annual address? These are rhetorical questions; you and I both know what has to be done. It's written on the wall. It's in the vast swathes of ocean, once teeming with life, now as barren as on old man's hand. It's in the prawne lolly you used to suck on as a child, but can't anymore because they're too fucking expensive. It's in the shrimp colony you nurtured as if it were your own deformed son, but which got trampled by youths and subsequently went massively tits-up. It's in the food we eat, the air we breathe, and the cloggs we manufacture. It's in the face of every prawne you've ever peeled.