Weird. a smoke. a g and t.. and an enema is just what I wanted.. nah. -8-

Written a bit crudely, as if by a junkie, which may be appropriate.

The first verse is perfect. Second verse can be taken so many ways thet I wish it were more directed. Third verse is good, but when I try to relate it to the first, I come up wanting. Overall, I like this kind of poem.

The first two lines express an important issue, but not very well. Criticism can help writers who have something to say, say it better. Most of the criticism here does not do that.

here's a haiku: Old ass hippie dude/Giving everyone zeros/Takes it up the ass...<0>

I gave you a seven although I think you're a fraud, B_W_C. Mooning over atrocieties like l_e_b's 'Love is the opposite of hate', and then come up yourself with a poem like this one?

nice weave, but....

The (overlong) first part leeches the blood from the second part. That one is a amusing sketch, it could make for a poem on its own.

>>I thought of my love, Smiled till I wrinkled<< >>Just younger, And holding on to hope<< You can't do this. It's ugly and it makes no sense. >>there<<, in the first stanza. I don't get it.

I don't want to spoil the party but I go along with Blindwriter. Agreed, due to the last lines the poem deserves a mentioning in the lower regions of the Best category, but the main part is mediocre, ànd with off-timing at the start ànd one moment of bad grammar. If this represents the best in poetry, I expect to be crowned King Genius within three weeks.

stupid nonsense...give it up cheech...<0>

yellow seems like a simple kind of guy

zero it rockmage go on you havent came in over an hour. I bet you have strong arms from all that self love.

cries

And one more mind-boggling look into the complicated spiritual innards of the tormented adolescent. My cup runneth over

>>This morning, I woke up with the morning<< Too simple. 'This morning, I woke up with the dead of the morning' (or whatever the American phrase is)

Quit fucking around with matters that don't matter, answer my comment so you and I can benefit. Goddamn it

Almost fable like, very well written and different.

This starts our really good. I don't know what you mean by the slabs rolling, or why she still looked 20. Verse 3 is great. Verse 4 is good. "wood" must refer to her cane. Verse 5 is a bit strange, and kissing on shadows of the lost - well, I see you relating to the old couple as you imaging aging with your lover, but it could be better said.

This is a good read even if I don't follow the story. Some good lines and some funny lines. Second to last verse is good. Sometimes I wish you would tell us a little more about what you speak of. Maybe I don't want to know. Overall fun to read.