Serious juju. Sorry, I'm still from the Rothian camp. Do you just like to play with little balls? I'll stop now. Gotta visit the loo. I'll check back with scrawl a little later. Brain is cooking today. Hope I can post my newest "over there". Thanks fo' da hep!

line 10: "Misfortune's been out friend;" (add the "'s") line 17: add a comma after "Lord", as in line 1. not my style poem, but a nice sentiment. i suppose the aetheists don't deserve a happy new year? it is, in my opinion, the danger of writing a prayer-type poem, i suppose. thanks and happy new year in return.

no need for apologiy. i question the need for the stanza on footballers. i'm missing the relationship to the seasonality of the rest of it. then again, maybe the january fog has got to me as well.

Not bad...... You have a nice way of turning a very obscure scene into poetic reality.

i think the sentiment that inspired this work outweighs the sentiment conveyed. i am guessing a budding artist's drawing for you is the subject. as someone commented on my attempt at Haiku, "sometimes 17 syllables isn't enough".

i like it. in english. and i like the way my ill-informed pronunciation makes it sound in arabic.

"netted, complicit, wooden and pushed about" is great. The rest of the last stanza should go, says me.

Hmmm, Ahem, .... I'm speechless. A bit weird I feel, or maybe its not got to me well enough.

I hate all this giddy positive attitude psychology in the face of despair. Can't you just show the empty abomination in everything and the voidness of even thinking of anything as good or bad?

the wet trash can cross it but you cannot, do not. in my heart twice in S1 does not seem intentional, and maybe should be an edit. drop "just" from S3 L1; it's a filler word. nice linebreak at S3 L2 beautiful ending. love it that mirror sky subtextually tells me about the puddles, the melt in warming March.

i always wondered, who offers therapy to the therapist? i mean, some of the disturbing stuff that one may hear in a session, although clinically is not supposed to stick, does. and if the therapist is in a por mental health state, that would be dangerous... interesting piece on what i presume to be your work. must be frustrating to split off from yourself like that, but a neccessity at the same time.

was this ammended/edited? some of the comments don't seem to make sense... i like this one, and after a couple of reads i get the thrill... specially liking the last 2 lines. p.s. yeah, i know the stallone movie. cheesy in my opinion.

Sorry, this is pretty bad, and nicking bits from Dylan Thomas generally isn't a good plan. That's why Thomas, through being a genius, held Welsh poetry back for about thirty years.

This one actually has some interesting writing, though your last line is entirely superfluous.

I have freely acknowledged that puncuation within poetry is a thorn in my side. Any thoughts? Specifically, any thoughts that may be helpful?

Has a groovy beat poem feel to it. It was pleasant to read but nothing much really stuck with me except the lines Zodiac already mentioned.

Yea, it's about how we feel, not all this rightness and wrongness crap. We all have something we choose not to blame - mood swings, Tourette's syndrone, dyslexia. Of such Tolstoy would be proud, and frome us as Anna Karenina, Napolian or The Emoticon in 600 poages.

The world was too populated or Aristotle, and today not populated enough, some say. Think I'll go east, back to the green hills of Tennessee.

The punctuation would be improved, I think, by eliminating the capitals at line beginnings, all but the starts of sentences. I think, against common belief, that all punctuation in a poem like this is unnecessary, save a few, because you have placed line breaks mostly where pauses belong, with or without punctuation.

Get your grammar somewhere close to common acceptance, and I'll say something about what you said.