This got better. First stanza needs a rewrite.

I agree. But a clever twist would be nice - maybe, A bright cloudy day, or somesuch.

Find stuff that is more unique to this bridge so that it can't be applied to any other bridge. Kudos for choosing to write about a bridge in Brooklyn that's not the Brooklyn Bridge.

Any last crits? It's gong in the mail today. Thanks guys!

Very nice. I've been to the Birmingham Botanical Gardens many times. I had to walk down that gravel path barefoot once -- long story. And I've always wanted to fish in the Japanese Pond.

nice, lol.

Second stanza is particularly brilliant, as are the others. Remarkable. *10*

This is great. Small things: corn rows should probably be two words (otherwise it's the hairstyle, no?); is unmoored quite it?--are they drifting in this dream, undone? killer ending and a richness of imagery and sounds.

That is a deep scar. Watch out if the tide gets too high or too low.

you made me laugh with this one. and you made me ask myself who i am, damn you.

please, explain what this means: Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, he said Together with his long name and Cigarette brand. i don't understand why he would say his name and cigarette brand. or am i getting it all wrong?

i like the dream litany. i don't understand how the nightmare protects you, though.

What a talent

Maybe it should be "low wage" rather than "no wage." And maybe "fell from her" not "for her."

Wow--must be Olde Poemranker Players week here. Welcome back. I haven't been here in ages either (work? pique?), so know what you mean about starting again. I like "iron January" (usually it is anyway)--the rest is very drafty (as in first pass) and with some tweaking will probably reveal it's form. Neither fallacious nor pathetic. TAFKAHattersHare

Nice.

Always a crowd pleaser.

Nice beginning. Could leave out "always" and the () around proximity. The ending is good too, but switching metaphors is troubling.

with neither a purse nor a name or with not a purse or a name

Of all the things just for rhyme in this one, "if not to read one more?" is the most worrisome.