I love it - but I think it needs tweaking, then I'll love it more. xxx

This is still my favourite of your early stuff...

Well you know just how much I love this one - in my eyes it looked better centrally aligned like you can on Word, but aligning on here isn't always simple. I want parrot hair!

I quite liked the rhyming scheme although it would benefit from a little more invention - 'in/in', 'long/along' etc. don't really seem to be pushing your creative boundaries at all.

I rather like it, cunt and all...

Have you read "Savvy in the City: San Francisco" by Jane Young, especially page 4? Steamer trunks of darker days, speaks of perhaps the Titanic, and twin saphires set in snow of perhaps a skull. I think of deep dives into ocean and memories and a good read.

Like the poem, don't like the title

Racism 5 by Dovina I once had a friend who was black. I stabbed him eight times in the back. He fell to the floor And I stabbed him some more Then pummelled his head with a jack.

"to awaken the dust" - awakening dust "The strangers" - strangers "Firmly uninterested" - uninterssted "boredom-faced" - bored-faced "the classic" - classic "the City" - city "the more sedate" - sedate "makes The roads tremble" - trembles the road Okay, I'm picky!

Wow. Just... wow.

PLEASE PEOPLE LEAVE COMMENTS!!!! consider this ... i was sitting in my colleges net lab when i wrote this poem...1 hr ......was bored to hell...

This might be a riddle, but can you explain to me what there is about it that makes it poetry.

Too long for me at the moment.... will have to come back for it in a fresher frame of mind.

I enjoyed this. It's a bit long, but for some reason, it seems to fit in it's current form. I like the creativity used with the end rhymes, but, I feel that it has limited the scope of the poem in some ways as well. All in all though... this is excellent.

I find this to be horrendous... I give you a 2 because it took mad bawls to come one here and post something like this. So you geta 2 - for sheer courage.

This so-called limerick doesn't use any "limerick words" at all. :-( -not funny-

A bit obscure don't you think? It might help if you elaborate a bit on what you mean. Also... can't a person support oneself with both pills and philosophy?

This is friggin sick!!!

Are you trying to make the worst poem I've read? If so, you've succeeded. Besides the fact that the poem is sickening in its message, its design is shaky and crappy... I think I'm gonna go puke now.

The sestina is a difficult form to work with. With that said... This is an excellent sestina!! I shall study along with others to best figure out how to improve my sestina...