Re: Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	MacFrantic 172.184.226.227	26-Feb-06/11:16 AM
Magnifico! I love this. Ahaha. *sigh* *10*
Re: Iron Sky by MacFrantic	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	26-Feb-06/11:17 AM
I'd say you've quite a few pieces better than this. In my opinion, this ain't very impressive. I wish I could pin point.
Re: Filler by MacFrantic	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	26-Feb-06/5:37 PM
Neat idea.
Re: honey bee by ThePariahDog	istillthinkofu 70.121.11.252	26-Feb-06/6:43 PM
B, You could never be replaced... I still think of you, ya know? How are you?
regarding some deleted poem...	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.119	26-Feb-06/11:11 PM
Apart from the almost total lack of punctuation, there is an 'I' missing from line 7 and I suspect in line 11 it should read 'of' not 'or'.
Re: Filler by MacFrantic	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.119	26-Feb-06/11:13 PM
Agreeeeeed
Re: An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.119	26-Feb-06/11:22 PM
Line 2 the word 'so' before intrigued would make the following line grammatically correct. I take a good look at his attire. Dressed like another other guy, Blue jeans, T-shirt, track shoes. This should not be indented and it should say 'like any other guy' I’m a new person inspired by There needs to be a comma between person and inspired. This is nicely done, I am sure you could get published in a religiously oriented magazine if you tried. However to my mind it is not a poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.119	26-Feb-06/11:26 PM
repel not repell
Re: ~PROM MEANS 2 ME~ by T. Jonathron Remp	terbenaw 68.127.115.210	27-Feb-06/12:07 AM
Hmm... someone sounds pretty bitter. I'm not feeling what you're saying, but you do get your point across OK. This sounds like something that can be used in some sort of song. Also, this is not a sestina.
Re: Empty Chronicles by Scarlett	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.110	27-Feb-06/2:44 AM
Not really my sort of poetry so I can't realy comment on whether it is any good or not, but it seems that a few more commas could be useful, and as a graecophile I would rather Athina than Minerva, but this is just my personal belief that the Greeks were more artistic that the Romans.
Re: Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	richa 81.178.217.160	27-Feb-06/6:32 AM
Too many commas it makes your sentences long and rambling. I will use one example: 'One evening ‘midst the glory this entails, just as the sun slipped through checkered rails of distant trees whose awesome height curtails, 07 like troubled thoughts, the view that goes beyond the local scenes of which we are so fond, an owl approached and lighted on a frond.' Firstly: '‘midst the glory this entails,' is redundant because you have not changed scene you are already there midst the glory. Then 'whose awesome height curtails,like troubled thoughts, the view that goes beyond the local scenes of which we are so fond,' is utterly garbled. What happens is the height of the trees curtail ('like troubled thoughts' is nonsense) the view. Full stop. Then you see the owl light on a frond through the rails of light full stop. Otherwise you have clauses all over the place. Also reading your replies I sense you are rather pious. Each to his own and all but I don't think writing earnestly is entirely compatible with writing lines such as 'beard of obvious reknown' and using words such as 'awesome'.
Re: Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	richa 81.178.217.160	27-Feb-06/6:36 AM
The main problem with this poem however is that it attempts to classify the entire human world by using slogans such as 'If Mankind’s soul is ever to find peace this war against itself must surely cease, and man accept his place as just one piece of a far greater whole, this would increase his understanding,'. It would be more productive for you to examine the minutiae of this world view. Use metaphor that kind of thing.
Re: Empty Chronicles by Scarlett	richa 81.178.217.160	27-Feb-06/6:44 AM
What is a mulberry binder? I thought binders just held paper.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.217.160	27-Feb-06/6:47 AM
Where are you. I presume church with the handy stained glass and pillar but how do the clouds open in a building.
Re: Controlling Desire by maffy	some deleted user 66.240.35.170	27-Feb-06/11:04 AM
this poem is REALLY excellent.
Re: Desperate Season by Sisterwolf	some deleted user 66.240.35.170	27-Feb-06/11:13 AM
im leaving you a comment because i noticed that you recognized how harsh the people on this site can be. i,too, was wondering how that can be productive in anyway? i just wanted to tell you that i appreciate it...for the people who get that type of criticism
Re: Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	zodiac 209.193.14.134	27-Feb-06/11:28 AM
Do you have something sound and philosophical about the argument 'If I don't kill person X, he will kill me'? The context is, obviously, Arabs. The person I'm arguing with is a loon, so it's not likely to make much of a difference. Hey, thanks bunches! Tenderly, Curious Hopeless Introvert in Alaska
Re: Today's Spam by nentwined	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	27-Feb-06/12:46 PM
Testing this kiosk. So far so good. I was thinking about the senryu today. Perfect timing. love 'em!
Re: Today's Spam by nentwined	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	27-Feb-06/2:59 PM
Reminds me of this skit:) http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1129383135
regarding some deleted poem...	horus8 24.126.116.245	27-Feb-06/2:59 PM
jesus.