Re: O say, can you see? by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 202.164.140.184	4-Jul-06/6:39 AM
Nice thought and pretty well conveyed too. I esp like the last bit... So pop that cracker, suspend the fight, enjoy the margin, and sparkle the night.
Re: August 23, 1944 - 102 miles west of Paris by Ranger	amanda_dcosta 202.164.140.184	4-Jul-06/6:46 AM
Great writing...although I can't add much by way of war-facts and distances.
Re: Hugo by little_angel_maria	amanda_dcosta 202.164.140.184	4-Jul-06/6:55 AM
Hello Maria, As you can see, i am not the only one with the opinion I am about to share withyou. Ranger has the same views. Personally I ain't too impressed with your presentation and feel that you have to be original with this age-old topic Love. You've mentioned the word love toomany times and this also takes away the essence of the theme. I would rather you shorten your lines and fit it into beautifully presented verses (rhyming or free verses) with the same idea and theme you have in mind. Sorry to disappoint but I think I have to be frank in my opinion.
Re: Hugo by little_angel_maria	little_angel_maria 201.201.28.2	4-Jul-06/9:22 AM
ok thank you for your critics that way you learn than you :)
Re: Hugo by little_angel_maria	little_angel_maria 201.201.28.2	4-Jul-06/9:22 AM
ok thank you for your critics that way you learn thank you :)
Re: Songs of the hedge bird by ALChemy	some deleted user 64.140.227.3	4-Jul-06/12:42 PM
A fantastic read from begining to end--beautiful work ALChemy.
Re: August 23, 1944 - 102 miles west of Paris by Ranger	some deleted user 64.140.227.3	4-Jul-06/12:55 PM
Great work Ranger--you sure do have a way with words. Could the birds struggle for purchase be because the trees were "grazed" away?
Re: O say, can you see? by Dovina	some deleted user 64.140.227.3	4-Jul-06/1:04 PM
Nicely put Dovina--the last stanza is cracker jack.
Re: The Angle of your Downfall by MacFrantic	Dovina 70.38.78.229	4-Jul-06/1:34 PM
I don’t know who this is about, but it sounds like one of the fallen TV preachers. You’ve made a good comparison to Icarus from Crete who flew by constructing wings made from feathers and wax. He was warned not to fly too low, lest his wings touch the waves and get wet, or too high, lest the sun melt the wax. But the young Icarus, overwhelmed by the thrill of flying, did not heed the warning, and flew too close to the sun whereupon the wax in his wings melted and he fell into the sea. The angle of YOUR downfall
Re: Goliath by amanda_dcosta	some deleted user 64.140.227.3	4-Jul-06/1:35 PM
Amanda, great poem, I'll think of this every time I start to procrastinate--as I often do.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 70.38.78.229	4-Jul-06/1:48 PM
Some good lines here: another turn of the crank wind gently nudges the leaves to casual conversation Somehow the argument/appology syndrone is foreign to me. I either settle with a person, or leave them. Maybe you are such a congenial man that she twists you hawever she wants. A good read
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 86.140.66.53	5-Jul-06/12:02 AM
Ouch. Typo line 19 - attempted. No other problems with this, you've kept it concise yet detailed, and have captured an air of resignation especially well. The last three lines are super.
regarding some deleted poem...	amanda_dcosta 202.164.140.184	5-Jul-06/12:24 AM
I like this a lot, Paul. Yes, the last three lines are terrific. Somehow you sound as though you've just read Proverbs.
Re: Aristocrats(Madlib for all those shock poets) by ALChemy	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	5-Jul-06/4:10 AM
The aristocrat format is rubbish. It is essentially: A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned." The man says, "But, this is really special." The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?" He replies," Well my wife and I start fisting eachother. Meanwhile by son brings out our pet pregnant alsatian and induces the birth of her zygots by forcing his hand up her arse. My son then brings the embryonic alsatians and coaxes them into his Mother's vagina and she sqirms as the embryos wiggle in her clowns sleeve of a snatch. At this point my son pulls down his pants and arcs a rope of cum across my mouth which I gulp down. Once he's finished I bite off his cock and spit it up his arse. As a grand finale I take out grandma's glass eye and my son shits out his cock into her skull. She catches septicimia and we root her lifeless corpse with the dead alsatians head. All this time my wife is reading aloud the painfully self-obsessed poetry of Dovina whilst slicing the skin off my buttocks." The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?" "The Aristocrats!" The man replies.
Re: An Invitation From Poetry.com by scitz	Zoe 84.13.181.246	5-Jul-06/5:10 AM
Very funny!
regarding some deleted poem...	Zoe 84.13.181.246	5-Jul-06/5:12 AM
I quite like the mirror image here. Maybe this could be a longer poem, more devloped poem though.
Re: Prelude to Infidelity (edited) by Caducus	Zoe 84.13.181.246	5-Jul-06/5:14 AM
There is something really satisfying about the matter-of-fact statement and description here, although some of the images are a bit abstract for me like Tchaikovsky buying my wife...
Re: Background Noise by Plaidypus	Zoe 84.13.181.246	5-Jul-06/5:19 AM
This reminds me of a poem by John Ash that I think was called 'A Novel'. This feels like it could be a whole novel in one poem.
Re: Bedlam Bazaar by Zoe	Dovina 17.255.240.138	5-Jul-06/10:30 AM
Not knowing any Welsh, this is a lot of trouble to go through. Why not just use the English translations? The last verse is very nice.
Re: Our Lady of the Rock by Zoe	Dovina 17.255.240.138	5-Jul-06/10:32 AM
On first read, this is good. I don't have time now, but will get back