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Bedlam Bazaar (Other) by Zoe
The castell surrounded by houses and traffic, half buried coronig in mud of its gwerin. The teithwyr who litter the green with their bodies, snapping up ffermdai, tywosogion, offeriaid. The ffynnon in the square was long since covered over; the tree was cut down where a mynach was hung. In the ffermdai they turn back damp cloth from the window where skaters slide back up the deep frozen afon. We carry the weight, the craft of our people, to the port and the market where grey fingers delve. We carry the city, the houses and steeples to the port and the market where we sell ourselves. And that man in the tafarn sells pills for arthritis; and the dafad you found leaking blood in the lane, and the mamiaith that sings on the house on the corner, to gramophone records that stick and then stutter. And the crwydryn, his toes growing rotten in leather; and the acid bath, warm in the depths of the cellar, llywodraeth will rise from those broken slum houses, from the nerve that beats deep under feet on the pavement. We carry the weight, the craft of our people, to the port and the market where grey fingers delve. We carry the city, the houses and steeples to the port and the market where we sell ourselves. WELSH TRANSLATIONS Castell: a castle; coronig: a coronet; gwerin: the folk; teithwyr: travellers; ffermdai: farmhouses; tywosogion: princes; offeiriaid: priests; ffynnon: a well; mynach: a monk; afon: a river; tafarn: a pub; dafad: a sheep; mamiaith: mother-tongue; crwydryn: wanderer; llywodraeth; government or control.

Up the ladder: Too much rain
Down the ladder: Mice

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.1666665
Weighted score: 5.5827065
Overall Rank: 2363
Posted: July 5, 2006 5:17 AM PDT; Last modified: July 5, 2006 5:17 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 | 5-Jul-06/10:30 AM | Reply
Not knowing any Welsh, this is a lot of trouble to go through. Why not just use the English translations?

The last verse is very nice.
[9] Niphredil @ 132.69.238.35 | 5-Jul-06/10:47 AM | Reply
At the beginning I thought this was a gibberish poem with a Welsh twist, à la Lewis Carroll. However, I enjoyed it even without the translation, since it gave me the freedom to interpret the lines as I wished.

Your imagery is most beautiful. At times, I really felt the lack of rhyming verses, precisely because of the careful meter and rhyming refrain (although I'm sure you meant it this way). On the whole, a lovely read.
[10] ecargo @ 63.22.13.175 | 5-Jul-06/12:02 PM | Reply
Also lovely (as is your other poem, I mean)--the Welsh words add a music to an already lyrical poems. The repeating verse is very strong. You have a gift for detail; a way of making the mundane details of life magical (as poetry should, I think). Consider me a fan! ;)

You list this as "Other"--is it a particular form?
[n/a] Zoe @ 84.13.19.254 > ecargo | 6-Jul-06/5:45 AM | Reply
Thanks so much. I said other because I don't think that it really is free verse, more like syllabics - perhaps we should get a category for that kind of poetry?
[8] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 5-Jul-06/6:39 PM | Reply
The translating was a bit annoying. I suppose it wouldn't be if I were Welsh...of course, then the English might be annoying...basically I think that you's have to be bilingual in that aspect to enjoy it completely. My personal preference is that you use one or the other...but I'm just one man. You've got some really nice imagery here and it's enjoyable as it is.
[n/a] Zoe @ 84.13.19.254 > wilco | 6-Jul-06/4:28 AM | Reply
Thanks all for your interesting comments. I was wondering if I should leave out the Welsh translation entirely. Then it would just be a puzzle?
[9] Ranger @ 81.158.79.50 | 6-Jul-06/2:18 PM | Reply
More of an interesting Welsh verse than Catatonia managed. You'll be huge in Cardiff; you should read this from a tower in the (almost finally) renovated castle. They have peacocks in there. Poetry and peacocks - what more could we ask for?

It takes a lot of practise to be able to read this aloud. Have a read of Nicholas Jones' works.
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