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An Invitation From Poetry.com (Free verse) by scitz Dear Dick
When you attend the Convention and Symposium, you will present your
poetry in front of your fellow poets from around the world (Our last
convention was celebrated by over 2500 poets from 58 countries worldwide!
), and you will be presented with your Outstanding Achievement in Poetry
Silver Award Cup.
The Award is a magnificent work of art (a $200.00 value) that measures
over 11 inches across and over 17 inches high, handcrafted in silver,
with your name custom-engraved on a beautiful cherry wood base (see it
here). Iâm sure it will merit a special place of pride in your home.
Your award is so large and heavy that you may wish to bring an extra
suitcase to carry it home!.
As a valued member you receive our special introductory price of $149.99
if you return this form back within 14 days.
Your Poem.
A big black dog sat on my grass,
He walked round and round,
then did a big shit,
from his big hairy ass,
then had a fit.
Up the ladder:
Dying in the Moonlight
Down the ladder:
Your Wish
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Posted: June 17, 2003 2:23 AM PDT; Last modified: June 5, 2006 8:07 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0397344 Overall Rank: 7035 Comments:
"then had a fit" change to "then had a salad" for some reson I would of just died upon reading that, but that just me, this is a point for our side for sure, nice one.
Did I tell you about the time in my "who I'd like to thank letter" to poetry.com I actually wrote in "bigbrother bullshit publishing companys that actually have the nerve to put together compendiums of poetry, basically, destroying the identity of the poets to the poems of the masses.", and do you know what? Those motherfuckers are so out to lunch, they printed it.
Good lad Horus kickass move on your part.
I am about to enter 10 poems all in the names of 'actors' from Dallas, here are the entries I hope will 'be considered for our highest prize'. Actors.................................. Ken Kercheval (aka Cliff Barnes)........White Oil Spurt Patrick Duffy (Bobby)...................Shower me with love Barbara Bel Geddes (Bobbys Mum).........Come On Me Sweet 'Jesu' Victoria Principal......................Cable will do Larry Hagman............................Who the fuck shot me? Howard Keel............................Digging for oil with my wrinkly spade. Had to exorcise the asshole in me. Sorry to all the Dallas fans. (Don't tell on me will yah?)
By the way, this was a cackle of spackle let me tell you.
Hurrah hurrah!!! No forced feeling, no pointless meandering, just the funny ugly poignant facts. God bless you.
If you could read that poem out loud in front of 2500 poets (from 58 countries worldwide!) and keep a straight face you would deserve your $200.00 value!
Love the salad idea.
I'd chip in a few bucks to see a video of that. :)
How sweet it would be to see you parody this and E-mail to the rankers. Something like this but less vulgar:
Dear Dick When you attend the Convention and orgy, you will present your anus in front of your fellow poets from around the world (Our last orgy was celebrated by over 2500 anuses from 58 countries worldwide!), and you will be presented with your Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Silver Butt Plug. The Plug is a magnificent work of art (a $200.00 value) that measures over 11 inches across and over 17 inches high, handcrafted in silver, with your name custom-engraved on a beautiful cherry wood base (see it here). Iâm sure it will merit a special place of pride in your home. Your award is so large and heavy that you may wish to bring an extra suitcase to carry it home!. As a valued "member" you receive our special introductory rim job if you return this form back within 14 days. Your Poem...
Heh
Very funny!
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Apparently we're icons in the Faroe islands.