Delicious. BUT change the typo in line 8. I love you.

I love shoving stools 8" up a boy's ass.

Very good indeed. We may become friends. 10/10. But watch it.

dont get the last line it seems.......weird. Soz

or not?

That's rather good.

Fucking Cunts.

Your heart is in the right place, but not your brain.

Jesus does not like this.

Jesus wee-wees on this!

tits

Jesus is lukwarm about his!

A novel way of putting forth an old truth. Thought provoking. Try a less bland title, like Beauty’s Kin, Son of Beauty, even the cliché - Beauty and the Beast.

it sounds so cliche that I wonder if it's satire. Either way, there is too much redundancy. For example,"He jokes around with a delightful sense of humor" simply means "He jokes." Most of the lines are like this.

Fucking hilarious! Give it a 0/10 for talent, 10/10 for satire. The problem is: which? For the moment 5/10 and I'll make my mind up later.

Fabulous! Utter shit!

bravo

Strong and well crafted opening. This reminded me of Larkin's earlier works in his Juvenilia poems chronicling coventry in a repugnant light and the sense of sadness that his birthplace was decaying. Its an excellent piece with an assertive voice and deserves praise.

I'll start this off by giving it a 10 myself. I am my own harshest critic and I think this is the minimum it deserves. Everyone else, please be more generous.

Be more fucking careful! Last line: thought not though. Why bollocks it through carelessness? Cunt.