Re: Valentine by zodiac	matt door 65.34.76.56	31-Aug-06/7:33 PM
Read like a fucking obituary - long and painful. Your ego harms your poetry - sorry.
Re: Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II by SupremeDreamer	matt door 65.34.76.56	31-Aug-06/7:42 PM
Did u mean plains or planes, or did you just not care - 'cause this was quite long and stale. Elementary son - sorry.Simple and "plain".
Re: fuck you by gsosville	DamienDen 168.103.213.204	31-Aug-06/9:14 PM
LOL oh this made my day, mean maybe, but take with it a grain a salt and its one can't help but laugh. Masterpiece lol. Oh god whew
Re: Coyote Sunsets by DamienDen	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:00 PM
Couple of minor points - there are a few too many articles in here for me, if you can get rid of 'the' in a couple of places it would work better (I think). Also needs a little more punctuation in places ('The tumble weeds the Buddhas complete in their wandering'). Nitpicking aside, super description here and some nicely fresh phrases ('broken backbones', 'spilling its sack of pearls'). Mightily enjoyable :-)
Re: Buttocks. by Ulterius	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:06 PM
Hahaha, you've somehow managed to take a subject which I didn't think was amusing any more, plus a form which I didn't think could be effective any more and give me a hearty 6am chuckle ;-) I stumbled slightly with 'Pimply', it seemed slightly disruptive to the flow (no pun intended) but that could just have been my inexpert reading of it. Next poem of this type to be entitled '-bow'ls-'.
Re: Pleasure. (Leisure Spoof) by Ulterius	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:09 PM
What is this life, if led astray We haven't time for banter gay? I look forward to reading more of yours :-)
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	Caducus 86.137.20.84	1-Sep-06/7:23 AM
Bert sounds like a man my Aunt married. Gratuitously gross well done
Re: Water by Caducus	Dovina 17.255.240.138	1-Sep-06/12:06 PM
Verse 2 is great. Verse 1 needs a period after line 3. Verse 3 could lose the quotes around his name, I think. Verse 4 needs the space removed before "s" and a comma after "sick" and a period after line 2 and a period after Line 4. Verse 5 needs an apostrophe in "mothers" and "Grandmothers" and a comma after Line 3 and a period after Line 4.
Re: Deliberate Exclusion by MacFrantic	Dovina 17.255.240.138	1-Sep-06/12:13 PM
This "Prose Poem" is too vague and lacks punch. Apparently her shameful obsequiousness is the narrator's objection. Why not make that clearly poignant?
Re: Covet by creepshow	Dovina 17.255.240.138	1-Sep-06/12:15 PM
Creepy. The title is bland.
Re: The darkest woods ever by Shardik	aamir_trichy 203.200.35.8	2-Sep-06/8:17 AM
good!!
Re: Shit happens by Bobjim the II	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.224.84	2-Sep-06/4:22 PM
You said it.
Re: My sad life by Bobjim the II	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.224.84	2-Sep-06/4:23 PM
About as amusing as a boil.
Re: megiddo by ThePariahDog	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.224.84	2-Sep-06/4:24 PM
obscure and boring
Re: Royal Blades by Dovina	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	3-Sep-06/6:11 AM
Love the way you almost rhyme ice and tights.
Re: megiddo by ThePariahDog	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	3-Sep-06/11:56 AM
Megiddo should be capitalized always.
Re: A Fart For All Mankind by Edna Sweetlove	Sing4Jesus! 85.210.192.216	3-Sep-06/5:06 PM
Jesus will not forgive you for this!
Re: Futile Words Spoken To My Married Lovers by Edna Sweetlove	Sing4Jesus! 85.210.192.216	3-Sep-06/5:08 PM
This is disgusting. Jesus said not to sleep with married men. Especially if you are a man yourself.
Re: Jesus by Sing4Jesus!	Sing4Jesus! 85.210.192.216	3-Sep-06/5:09 PM
I love this.
Re: Buttocks. by Ulterius	Sing4Jesus! 85.210.192.216	3-Sep-06/5:11 PM
I love to look upon the cross Where Jesus hangs (he is the BOSS) And I can see his naked bum. (God take us all 2 Kingcom Come).