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Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II (Other) by SupremeDreamer
These days, inconsolable, ominous and pensive, I care little for conflict, for frustration, fury, despair, and hasty forgiveness. I care little for the disappointment of the uncomfortable silence that follows, the forgetting that assists me & my brethren in avoiding the problems at hand; the trespasses, injuries withheld from the light which remain still, fermenting within the dark corners of our minds. It strengthens the hatred, while deepening the murky waters of past discordance, wounds left open to fester & merge. Such things rouse nothing but the devil in me; decayed face of my split persona I dread & eschew-- stirred awake, stares back & defies reason 'n virtue, drives me to do that which ignites the passion of ill-will in those who I call my brethren. He wishes to hold dominion over my gentle soul, so he urges me in blind anarchy of thought to dominate those that I hold close, fostering guilt & horror within my tender spirit of which I hold fast. He does this so that, in the process of my spiritual crucifixion, I am left no defense-- For he builds upon the self-hatred whose seed my mother planted & claims I've already submitted; that all tender presence of my body 'n mind is only weakness clinging to denial. I am then isolated in ways that make the very word, solitude, inadequate-- left tending to the fire of my quiet rage, uncertain. Half of me wishes to expel all that is sadistic, savage, & wicked by ravaging whatever is close. The other half strives to rise above such psychic emotion, so that I may fulfill a dream that strays further from my grasp with each passing day-- a vision that I passionately yearn to make a reality. I know too well what it is I do that offends, injures, & degrades others. Like ghosts, actions haunt me, burning, always present in waking thought, with roots that stem from the unconscious. I care little for the pauses in disturbed silence offering amends. You brethren, & I gain nothing from forgetfulness. Make known what wounds exist-- do not restrain your tongue, offering words of quick apology or gracious forgiveness & accession. But do not reveal your concerns in frustration. I care little for it. Brethren, do it not in blind fury or hateful despair. I care little for it. Please, my brothers-- do not express emotion through acts of derision. I care little for it. Only my bedeviled self revels in such things-- thrives upon it; & he, my brethren, does not care to resolving anything that drives us further apart. So do not dare ever to forget anything; not a fucking thing, for mistakes & injuries forgotten are left to be repeated. Know patience, brethren, know sound voice & calm resolve-- know that a soft voice is what my true self, who is tender, hears true. It is the only voice that is deathly clear within these planes of compassion & bloody agony that form this chaotic mind that is mine.

Up the ladder: Letting Go

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Weighted score: 5.179294
Overall Rank: 4823
Posted: March 6, 2006 8:09 PM PST; Last modified: March 6, 2006 8:09 PM PST
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[3] mindsigns @ | 7-Mar-06/5:42 AM | Reply
Sounds like your preaching to me, I hate lectures.
And I don't fancy looking up every other word you write in the dictionary, I'm a simple man and big word don't impress me.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > mindsigns | 7-Mar-06/8:28 AM | Reply
Well, it doesn't sound like it: I am, er was, whatever preaching. That's the gimmick. Oh, and the big words weren't put there simply to impress... Sorry your vocabulary isn't more or less extended.

Thank you for the vote 'n comment, brace yourself for the stench after the beep-- peace.
[3] mindsigns @ > SupremeDreamer | 7-Mar-06/11:03 PM | Reply
I guess I didn't ferment, fester or merge myself clearly enough, I revel in my embarrassment. For my derision's and ineptness are fostering and ultimately I dread & eschew myself. If only I could be more inconsolable, ominous and pensive then maybe I can bow down to your wisdom. My bedeviled self can only ask for your gracious forgiveness & accession and help me let go of my past discordance.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > mindsigns | 8-Mar-06/9:24 AM | Reply
Not bad, now stop plagiarizing me Mofo. ;P
[3] mindsigns @ > SupremeDreamer | 9-Mar-06/1:45 AM | Reply
There are a couple of original words of mine in there
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > mindsigns | 4-Feb-07/2:04 PM | Reply
So fucking what? So you took them out of my damn poem and used the bloody fucking dictionary and constructed a rather silly reply. Here, have a bloody blue comment ribbon.

Do you read the Signs in your Mind?
[7] Ranger @ | 7-Mar-06/9:38 AM | Reply
Chunky...well I honestly am going to have to come back to this later (I've already read it twice and still missed a load of what's in there). It reads quickly like it ought to be angry prose. Personally I'd prefer to see you not use "'n", mainly because it gets awkward to spit out fast - "reason 'n..." has to become "reasonun", which sounds awful. As I said, I'll return and (maybe) have something useful to say, until then have a seven as a mark of the fact that I was actually interested enough to read this twice.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > Ranger | 7-Mar-06/9:47 AM | Reply
Yeah, I've edited this one alot. To be truthful, I used "'n" simply to avoid using "and" too much... one of those ticks of mine, but maybe it's better off sticking to "and" since the whole things formal, & "'n" is somewhat.. "hippie". Thanks for reading it twice, and the vote. I'll rethink the 'n bits and probly mod my own copy- reposted this piece a tad too many, me thinks.
[9] Dovina @ | 7-Mar-06/12:53 PM | Reply
I was starting to get into this - understand your viewpoint, when I hit Verse 5 and the sudden introduction of the character "He." Since "brethren" is such a religious-sounding word, I assumed "He" is God and proceeded past the bump. Then as it gets back to your conundrum, I thought of Paul, and his sorting out of mixed pullings in writing to the Corintheans.

I don't see this as preaching, even though you're speaking to the brethren, but as trying to settle a chaotic mind.

You might want to reword, "do not restrain your tongue, offering words of quick apology or gracious forgiveness & accession," as it seems to conflict a former statement.
[6] matt door @ | 31-Aug-06/7:42 PM | Reply
Did u mean plains or planes, or did you just not care - 'cause this was quite long and stale. Elementary son - sorry.Simple and "plain".
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > matt door | 14-Sep-06/4:10 PM | Reply
Oh well. In any case, I'm not your son, so please do not refer to me as such. :)
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > matt door | 4-Feb-07/2:08 PM | Reply
Main Entry: 4plane
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin planum, from neuter of planus level
Date: 1571
1 a: a surface in which if any two points are chosen a straight line joining them lies wholly in that surface b: a flat or level surface
2: a level of existence, consciousness, or development <on the intellectual plane>
3 a: one of the main supporting surfaces of an airplane b[by shortening] : airplane

2: a level of existence, consciousness, or development <on the intellectual plane>

Is that which we fucking intended. Asshat.

[7] Ranger @ > SupremeDreamer | 5-Feb-07/1:43 AM | Reply
Everyone's saying 'Asshat' these days. Best word ever!
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