Re: Hey by impert&ent	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	28-Oct-14/1:30 PM
When lit only by a fading memory, it's the sleeping neurons that require enlight-&-ment.
Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar	T. Jonathron Remp 127.0.0.1	23-Dec-14/9:50 AM
pretty good
Re: what is poetry 101 by Skamper	T. Jonathron Remp ::1	23-Dec-14/9:52 AM
correct
Re: It snows in July by daniella	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-15/3:04 PM
hair weeping.... brain thinking because the night sky was weeping into your hair... Now I am weeping and the tears are seeping but I gotta stop to wipe my nose - Overall I like it - 7.5
Re: it is my turn this season by daniella	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-15/3:12 PM
If your heart beats fire beneath another and then you ride him into the ocean... did you switch places? Overall I liked it. reminds me that there is another lobe to the brain - not left nor right but from the "light side" of the brain. Gotta check out Daphne's website...
Re: SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:21 PM
This feels like you're writing from the heart, trying to find the words to make it more universal...but the effect for me is just that's it's more generic/bland. The T'was feels affected, and [broken] stands out in an odd way as you're not playing with/using punctuation anywhere else....
Re: THE MASTER by ARTIE	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:23 PM
interesting idea, but I'm not feeling it.
Re: Why we're here by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:25 PM
Consciousness exists to destroy itself—from pain to pleasure, to make the pain go away—and retreat back to the nothingness from whence it came.
Re: One Fine Day by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:26 PM
good luck!
Re: A mag that PAYS??? by SupremeDreamer	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:27 PM
It paid semi-pro rates regardless; the "if it sells" was the long-tail dream of icing on the cake.
Re: Bill of Rights on A4 by T. Jonathron Remp	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:28 PM
not following...nice flow/sounds.
Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:30 PM
some nice images (or well-coined/well-conveyed), but doesn't really work for me as a poem.
Re: Untitled Future by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:30 PM
I like how it leaves me hanging, but that's all that strikes me....
Re: Some of us by daniella	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:31 PM
cute :)
Re: The Spell(Alice part I) by alvinb	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:36 PM
I really like the potential of the first two stanzas, but the rest disappoints, for me—give me more color, more shifting, more playing with vision (other than bright/dark). Though loss poems are particularly hard to do, in that the general doesn't connect and the particular may be too particular. And they are done, and done, and done--but try to dig into more senses, cohere it all, and don't give up....
Re: Sense {non} by Skamper	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:39 PM
the second stanza is your poem. drop the rest. maybe explore that more, or maybe don't. 6 for the poem as whole.
Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar	daniella 127.0.0.1	22-Feb-15/7:21 AM
there is a lot of feeling and outrage and sadness that is begging poetic justice in this poem
Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar	daniella 127.0.0.1	22-Feb-15/7:24 AM
i love your thoughts. they are in the right place and the poem works on some levels. keep engineering the phrases. and perhaps punctuation is needed, for example: Alas doing, for the sake of bread no?
Re: There Was Poetry For Them All by nentwined	SupremeDreamer 127.0.0.1	7-Apr-15/5:49 PM
Aye... and amen to tbe muse we all love to abuse.
Re: SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL by ARTIE	SupremeDreamer ::1	7-Apr-15/5:53 PM
Cliché, yeah, near pimple status? Oh... none of us want to know what parody i'd make of this... too fuckin easy, aye. Do you wish me to judge thy heart, or thy ART? This poem.. I give a four, so that thy heart might not sour. :)