Re: Delicious Ann and the Magic Ham (Prose...I'm ashamed) by D. $ Fontera	Skamper 202.6.128.86	31-May-07/9:12 AM
Don't know why I like this...
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	Skamper 202.6.128.86	31-May-07/9:22 AM
I do love to think in colour - but I can't get the image out of my head of seagulls with nice white teeth!
Re: The Story of Wolf and Moon by Blackshadow	Skamper 202.6.128.86	31-May-07/9:27 AM
Love the story - but the spacing distracted me a little
Re: Alive at 95 by nypoet22	Skamper 202.6.128.86	31-May-07/9:34 AM
first two stanzas set me up with a rhythm, and the last three tripped me up a little...
Re: The Story of Wolf and Moon by Blackshadow	Dovina 64.130.138.231	1-Jun-07/7:48 AM
Some wordiness,such as "It is a story of true love" could be just "a story of love," similar suggestions throughout. "Our path, it leads Us to Our fate" is such a common theme that, expecially when said straight out, comes accross stale. Otherwise, some good rhythms and some good lines.
Re: Soul Mate Found by Blackshadow	Dovina 64.130.138.231	1-Jun-07/7:51 AM
"love that felt so true" and other cliches like "the test of time" detract from otherwise good rhythm.
Re: Ago by Enkidu	dclark 71.30.10.41	1-Jun-07/3:26 PM
who is bynaan? is he a king? or a fed up civilian? i like this but its kind of caught up in itself. like if the kings are so mighty then why does thier blood flow? are you meaning in different terms than the way its read? other than that it'll be good when you finish.
Re: Thinking by Tiffany	dclark 71.30.10.41	1-Jun-07/3:28 PM
this honestly could've been written by a fourth grader.
Re: Time Imperfect by MacFrantic	dclark 71.30.10.41	1-Jun-07/3:31 PM
i really like this, i can't really find the meaning, but its good, the shirtless cowboys is kind of gay, but i'm sure theres a meaning behind it. i like the layout of this poem, its good.
Re: One O Five in the A.M. by Enkidu	dclark 71.30.10.41	1-Jun-07/3:33 PM
gay. this is just a simple poem with no meaning, unless you have it completly hidden, its horrible in my opinion, but maybe you wrote this fucked up.
Re: Stealing Glory by Enkidu	dclark 71.30.10.41	1-Jun-07/10:00 PM
i don't catch the meaning of this, are you saying its to hard to be glorious? it doesnt make much since at all
Re: Taupe is an Angry Mob by MacFrantic	dclark 71.30.10.41	1-Jun-07/10:01 PM
i like this, its really well formated with good usage of words, its good
Re: Johnny Neurotic by Enkidu	SomeNewKill 71.30.10.41	2-Jun-07/11:51 AM
its a really simple topic to right about... i like it.
Re: Ago by Enkidu	SomeNewKill 71.30.10.41	2-Jun-07/11:52 AM
well formed.
Re: Atlantis Destroyed by Sasha	richa 85.210.15.203	2-Jun-07/3:27 PM
Rather good. A couple of lines I don't like-- the morning mused/ tried to speak is too abstract and beneath an air where humans did not speak is a touch convoluted. You don't actually have to say something didn't happen (i.e humans didn't speak) in a poem because it doesn't happen by the fact of it not being written of. I like the canes bit.
Re: Barking Bargain by Dovina	richa 85.210.15.203	2-Jun-07/3:32 PM
The final verse doesn't really make sense. It parses as: Was the loss he came out for greater than the loss which was offered.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 85.210.15.203	2-Jun-07/3:38 PM
Godawful maudlin sentiment. The number of pomes I read on here that are just a string of overwrought cliches; darkness, grief, tears, drowning sorrow. Pity is not spelt pitty. And at the end the spelling goes terribly awry. Have the -10- of shame.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 85.210.15.203	2-Jun-07/3:38 PM
This is not a senryu, it is a bollocks.
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	richa 85.210.15.203	2-Jun-07/3:42 PM
Don't like. Every so often someone posts a poem which pretty much lists different colours. I did it my self once. It just doesn't work.
regarding some deleted poem...	half.italian 76.172.249.205	2-Jun-07/5:32 PM
You are quite good at these arent you?