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Taupe is an Angry Mob (Free verse) by MacFrantic When I sleep
I rest my eyes beneath a charcoal sun
Fueled by dread and inhibitions
And when I wake
Only the air is clear and tempered
My world is ablaze
There is want outside my door
A marching silence
Shorn of mercy and restitution
I plead for relief
But alas,
They infect my step with numbers
I know not with what to please them
They thrive like rapid wildfire
So judge me now
As a solemn winter
Unable to ice a flame
A scourge upon this plague
Fighting fire with brimstone soul
Unleash fury upon wrath
And sleep again in peace
Fueled by satisfaction and relief
Up the ladder:
Watercolor Fairy
Down the ladder:
Returning Home
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Posted: April 21, 2004 7:18 AM PDT; Last modified: April 21, 2004 7:30 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.190725 Overall Rank: 4731 Comments:
I wish this poem had actually been about the title.
Vote again after I change it please! Great feedback!
It IS about the title. Grey is often associated with anonymity. That is essentially what a mob is, right?
i like this, its really well formated with good usage of words, its good
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not sure I like "soil thronging" - with the surrounding text it may be [subconciously] parsed as "schlonging" ... that could just be me though.
Lots good about this stanza:
"I know not with what to please them
They thrive like rapid wildfire
So judge me now
As a solemn winter
Unable to ice a flame
Parity in diversion"
but kill the last line ("Parity...") there, and I don't like the "charcoal" refrain - for what its worth (though I liked it alot the first time).