Mona Lisa
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2004, 1:56 PM
Beatifully captures femininity
It is not your place to criticise the Church, young harlot. True, many Churches worship a nude being nailed to two planks of wood, but what you fail to notice, despite the painfully inadequate obscuration afforded by the thin veil you drape o'er your obscene buttocks, is that beneath our silken robes, we too are mere nudelingtons. -0-
Sorry, papists and rosicrucians shouldn't write poetry. There's been no hip papist poetry (or rosicrucian, for that matter,) since that crazy Mechtild of Magdebourg rag, which reached the height (or depth) of blah status-quo pop-culture approbation when it was re-worked into the dance track 'Hit me baby one more time' (with only the word 'baby' inserted for 'Yahweh'.)
Besides, it's the only thing which makes papists and rosicrucians more predictable than their usual speech, other than commenting prudishly on other people's bohemian poetry posts, which is (clearly) all you're going to find here. We clearly do not want you to believe our ways (which we have none,) nor do we accept that God (which there is none) put us here for a purpose (which there is, but not the one He planned.) Once again, zero. Read it to your Bible study.
i like it, a little depressing for me right now but good. What exactly is the theme, im thick headed
I raised the issue of why Jesu "prayed to Himself" in Gethsemane, and why He asked for an alternative to crucifixion when He should have already known the answer to His question, with a Christian, and the Christian said that when Jesu swooped down to planet Earth and took on humanoid form He was subject to the same fears and pains that humans feel, and that whilst in humanoid form He may not have been omniscient. What do you say to that? I don't think you can say Jesu IS God at the same time as saying He wasn't omniscient whilst in humanoid form, because that would make Him simultaneously identical to God and different from God. The best you can do is say Jesus was PART of God, but as far as I know no Christians endorse that view, and it is not backed up by the Bible. In short: buncombe.
i like the rhyme, but i noticed all your poems titles are the first lines of the poem. Maybe you should work on the titles, they could add some more spice to the rest of the work
You are easilly the greatest poet alive, and I have no idea what jodhpurs are, which only adds to my first statement.
Reminds me of Poe, and like horus said, i don't even know what Jodhpurs are.
You said "dump with love".
Ahh, but could not the same also be said of a freshly laid stool, glistening like dew in the morning sunlight?
When I woke up
The sun was hot
It shone upon
My chamber pot
And then I saw
A coil of brown
And felt I'd best
Inform the towne
On other days
The things I dump
Are mostly grey
And not so plump
But this young brown
So sleek and proud
Is sure to draw
A mighty crowd!
"You can ask me to punish you with turds, you can ask me strike you into the ground with my cane, you can ask me to slaughter your children with an axe, you can ask me have your name slandered at the bi-monthly Cheesesmith's Convention, you can ask me withdraw your trouser allowance, and you can ask me to ride you into towne like a donkey. You can even ask me to return you to the dung-heap I found you on. But there is one thing you cannot ask of me; one thing that is beyond all my powers as a Gentleman to endure...
You cannot ask me to forgive you. For that is something no man can do."
Earl Proud-Stocking XV to his butler, upon catching the feeble manservant parading around the Bedchamber in his Master's Jodhpurs.
First line's not pentameter. Otherwise good.
aura-ific.
i like the first half better.
Personally I think toilet poems are a valid art form.
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
hmm yes. know what you mean. what about constructive interference?
hmm. imagery is intense, at any rate. for whatever that's worth. ^_^
ABORT ABORT ABORT
It is most unkind of you to make me reach that far from my pot to find my teeth. Therefore, pack your things, you're fired from poetry. You are aware that your poem would have been much better if you'd have only repeated the word "Bermph" outloud indefinately.