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Drying, Cracked Roots

Member since 2004 · Posted 21 Jan 2004 · 6 comments

Drying, cracked roots Hold up the pathetic tree Simply surviving in a place No one cares to see Every day the constant trial To endure the steady sun, But gradually understanding Nothing more can be done Suffering harrowing days and nights Until the cycle begins again, More painful is the knowing of All that could have been Nameless on the dusty road No one will see the trees Finally wither in a place Never meant to be.

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mean 8.09 weighted 6.55 rank 654 views 242 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

6 comments

[8] deleted user 21-Jan-04/5:43 PM Reply

i like it, a little depressing for me right now but good. What exactly is the theme, im thick headed

[7] basit_i 21-Jan-04/8:36 PM Reply

Hmm. The thoughts are well-held in the beginning and end, but the phraseology might have been a little more flexible in the middle-part.

[7] richa 22-Jan-04/5:59 AM Reply

Personally I would say from an everything that exists in a place can not be said to be 'not meant to'. Even dead things.

[n/a] AnotherNothing 23-Jan-04/6:24 PM Reply

Thanks for the comments. The original theme would be poverty, but really extends to anything that survives under unlikely and fruitless conditions. I know i messed up in the middle, but this was a long time ago, and i pretty much just gave up.

[9] Shuushin 27-Jan-04/6:50 AM Reply

I like that it is a non-typical angle on the life of a tree; futility rather than growth and life (the same thing, perhaps).

What about changing the last "trees" to a specific kind of trees? Don't do willow - too "done".

Alternatively, maybe a specific *part* of a tree (trunks, roots, branches...).

anyway, I like what you have, more so for the different perspective.

[8] LilMsLadyPoet 11-Jul-05/9:43 PM Reply

The middle got a little loose, but this is cool...I get the thought. Fruitless places, things, people...things stagnant... resignation. I wish this would have been as good as the thought that started it...I would guess you didn't get it on paper as quick as it came to your mind. Gave you a decent score anyway!