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Sonnet For a Porn Star (Lyric) by mikejedw
At first, I cannot tell your body from the mass, where this one mounted that one, that one squealed. Eventually, the line that marks your ass from others' limbs and asses is revealed. Your face is framed, jaw clenching, eyes shut hard, with hoarse, near-breathless moans surrounding you. But, quietly, your grimace drops its guard. A sad expression forms, then fades from view. Has someone said, "You look like shit today?" A troubled friend needs cash you can't provide? Perhaps that dog you loved has run away. Or has your cancer-stricken mother died? Or is it that your grief is mine as well? The ache we share. The ache we can't expel.

Down the ladder: It's about truckin'

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Weighted score: 5.190515
Overall Rank: 4733
Posted: May 10, 2002 12:58 PM PDT; Last modified: May 10, 2002 12:58 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9]... anonymous @ 204.245.176.100 | 13-May-02/9:40 AM | Reply
you are a really great poet.
[9]... anonymous @ 204.245.176.100 | 17-May-02/12:56 PM | Reply
i think i love you.
[10] hoopoe @ 62.254.32.4 | 19-May-02/3:19 AM | Reply
******* fantastic; you understand the forms you use, where's yer book Mike??
[2] Redfin @ 66.168.139.251 | 8-Jul-02/2:37 PM | Reply
all I can say is This is sad very sad
[8] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 194.222.223.239 | 8-Jul-02/5:27 PM | Reply
Similar to one I'm working on - so I appreciate the effort you've put into this. But why does the first line have 12 syllables?
[n/a] razorgrin @ 142.166.109.217 | 22-Jul-02/2:22 PM | Reply
Mighty Good.
[2] Dariana @ 172.174.110.178 | 4-Oct-02/5:08 AM | Reply
Very realistic but I am not sure I would call it poetry.
[8] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 4-Oct-02/5:23 AM | Reply
I think the third quatrain lets this poem down a bit; it seems to reduce rather than express her pain. But the couplet is a killer. Well done.
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.211.223 | 21-Jan-04/12:51 PM | Reply
First line's not pentameter. Otherwise good.
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