regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.227.134.94	4-Jun-07/8:45 AM
Put "but sets you free" on a third line.
Re: Suck it up for God by Engelbert Humpalot	dclark 67.140.207.128	4-Jun-07/9:54 AM
anal hole? buttlover?
Re: Quatrain by ALChemy	dclark 67.140.207.128	4-Jun-07/9:58 AM
its pretty good, i like it, if you could find something beside men on the line that reads, "and monsters are born from minds of men." maybe male.
Re: Like a Whore {erotic} by sca	lmp 141.154.134.3	4-Jun-07/2:38 PM
rowr.
Re: Ago by Enkidu	lmp 141.154.134.3	4-Jun-07/2:47 PM
please, continue.....
regarding some deleted poem...	Skamper 202.6.129.156	4-Jun-07/6:05 PM
Now this you can get your mind into...nice!
regarding some deleted poem...	Skamper 202.6.129.156	4-Jun-07/6:15 PM
nice grab on challenges...
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 67.172.190.253	5-Jun-07/8:52 AM
5-7-5 But who counts?
regarding some deleted poem...	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/8:53 AM
interesting. took a couple of reads to understand whose perspective it was written from, but the scathing sentiment comes through either way.
Re: Never Still by Skamper	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/9:01 AM
line 8 - i belive you may mean to say "bear her soul away", but if you meant "bare her soul, away from land" you'd need to break the two thoughts apart (maybe with the comma). still cogitating on this one. so far i like it, but want to understand it a bit more.
Re: Never Still by Skamper	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/9:09 AM
also, lines 15 & 16 are a bit out of synch somehow. if the meaning is that she defies the devil's will by haunting her lover to ease his pain, you may want to pull the thoughts together by losing the dash in line 15. a period at the end of line 14 would also help, as would beginning line 15 with "the". line 16 might complete the image a bit by replacing "to etch the light" with "etching the light". like the dark sentiment; "brood" is one of my favorite dark verbs. still trying to piece together how her lover was scorned exactly, but i can dream up any number of treacheries/betrayals...
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/9:33 AM
i like the naughty and funny meaning that can be read into this.
Re: The Happy Side of Misery by Dovina	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/9:59 AM
moo-ving right along... i was thinking that the cyclist, distracted by an internal reverie about cows, was forgetting to keep an eye on the edge of the pavement and there is a big heavy truck that may be running them off the road. i almost felt a bit of an anticlimax at the end when the truck gets fogotten about and the rider simply keeps pedalling on. nice imagery though, agree with previous comments about the "forty shades of souther green". in fact i think the last four lines of stanza one are nice all on their own.
Re: Mouth full of Posion by VioletSuccubus	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/10:02 AM
almost a pimple. is there a blackhead category?
Re: Barking Bargain by Dovina	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/1:52 PM
I caught on immediately that you may be writing a series... are they all going to be "over-the-hill" plots, or will things change by the time the great prarie land opens before those handlebars? (not really asking for spoilers.) i agree with Ranger; this does seem a bit overstated and bulky for the subject. there are several parts that are awkward to read and follow. the closing stanza, while it is clear what the intent was, could be misread as richa pointed out. the dog did not come out for a loss, so perhaps it should read: "which loss was greater - that which he sought or that which he refused." i do look forward to more in this series and it seems you have a long road ahead if the pace that has been set stays even.
Re: Jade Milieu by Enkidu	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/2:49 PM
really like this one. captures the sentiment very well
Re: The Equalizer by Skamper	lmp 141.154.134.3	5-Jun-07/3:04 PM
meh. sounds like something that i read about (Philosopher's quandry or something like that): safer to believe in god just in case there is a heaven.
Re: behind the banister by FreeFormFixation	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/1:48 AM
Is calico a cat or a dog? Albeit you've got hopeed instead of hopped, at least, but I like your style. I guess I like a bit of skittish madness in the form of freeform, lol. Come to think of it, I've never been a fan of form (because I can't master it myself ;)) => Jess
Re: save a class now by FreeFormFixation	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/1:51 AM
I might have to favouritise you so I know where to go when I can come back (whence I'm not cramming for exams). I like it. It's cheeky. On a more formal note I think it detereorated from "And roger was weeping," but I wouldn't change anything if it'll mean taking away from the general feel. Haha, awesome. => Jess
Re: Bitter by Ranger	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/1:56 AM
I love the rhyme, it's almost hypnotic... and I don't usually like triple entendres. It so eerie in the empty sense, regret in the third person, just a hint of bitter. I like this very much. => Jess