regarding some deleted poem...	jessicazee 24.160.240.223	6-Jun-07/2:31 AM
I'll give this a 1 even though you gave me a zero for mine. Okay, a 6. Because flash and stash are nice words.
Re: Interest and Association by MacFrantic	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/2:39 AM
S'almost a swinging twenties style applied to an eighties era. I like how you desribe things - the adjectives and metaphores - and the twisted structure behind the words. It's the kind of poem you expect to be read by a slick voice through thick lips. Slant rhyme, and all that jazz. => Jess
Re: Sit tight, sweetheart by JMakStak	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/2:42 AM
people blinded by the pr and politics fronting a war? losing loved ones in choosing ignorance? I'm interested to know what this is about, because I like the poem itself, language etcetera. but I like the metaphore/simile/etc itself a whole lot more.
Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/2:45 AM
Hm, I like this and I don't. I like how you desribe things, in themselves, but I don't like the repetition. Kitch language (which I like), but then again the repetition of words like and and for and how kind of drown it out. But I mean, we're talking personal tastes here. You know how it's best read, not me lol.
regarding some deleted poem...	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/3:00 AM
The syllables seem off for a haiku, but to be honest I wouldn't have a clue what exactly constitutes any form of poetry. Seems a little ambiguous to me, although I guess there's meaning enough. What hinders you only makes you stronger, makes you look for alternate roots, stops you taking the path most taken, cliche, cliche etcetera. => Jess
Re: Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee	Ranger 81.103.124.179	6-Jun-07/4:50 AM
This is super, although I'm not sure whether you want it to be bitterly ironic or genuinely humorous...
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 81.103.124.179	6-Jun-07/4:50 AM
To which sort of stash do you refer?
Re: Sit tight, sweetheart by JMakStak	Ranger 81.103.124.179	6-Jun-07/4:52 AM
Decent enough, although it won't win any prizes for novelty value. The curtains came in a bit suddenly.
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 76.166.137.3	6-Jun-07/4:54 AM
internal rhyme in a haiku? nifty. :)
Re: No-Strings by sca	Ranger 81.103.124.179	6-Jun-07/4:58 AM
This is your best yet from what I've seen. You've got a good sense of meter, although the first line is bulky. I'd split that line slightly: Damn it, why do... etc. "Just-the-one is not your type" is the best line. -9-
Re: The North Wind by Ranger	sca 124.191.64.243	6-Jun-07/5:15 AM
There are all this tricky rhyme schemes in the world, but I reckon it's nice to see it taken back to basics once in a while. One on one, obvious yet not obtrusive. Lyrics or not. I'd've written Said in the fifth line with a '. 'Said, short for I said. But I can be the queen of ideomaticity and colloquealist english. So I'd caution you against my advice. But yes, I'd say if we polled it here and now missed 'I love you's would be the chief regret. => Jess
Re: Beslan by Ranger	Dovina 12.74.123.71	6-Jun-07/12:01 PM
I heard a balalaika played with Russian hands, and would prefer the singular in line 1, makes is more personal. And the possessive friction's in line 2 seems superfluous. Why is the fretted frame splintered? The triangular frame might be splintered, but the frets are on the fingerboard, and splinters would hurt. I like the sound of this, "holy minor fall of Hallelujah" especially.
Re: Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee	Dovina 12.74.123.71	6-Jun-07/12:09 PM
It's a sad kind of funny. Just enough to make me think so anyway. More detail would help. And it's a bit too prosaic for poetry.
Re: Stripes by JMakStak	sca 210.8.228.185	6-Jun-07/9:13 PM
I love the rhythm and how the words just kinda weave in and out of each other. I like the edgy language, and how the rhyme isn't too obvious. It's great. Sexy in the other sense. => Jess
Re: Shuushin the multi-personality total cunt by mr cunt	sca 124.191.64.6	6-Jun-07/11:05 PM
Haha, I could give you points for laughs. But I'm not going to. (and usually I hate poetry Nazis).
Re: The Red Chain by MacFrantic	sca 124.191.64.6	7-Jun-07/12:57 AM
I don't understand the first line, and I'm not one for poetry that's so rephrased and rearanged it's fragmented, so this doesn't rate all that highly with me.
Re: 0 by MacFrantic	sca 124.191.64.6	7-Jun-07/12:59 AM
Great minds think alike, eh? I like. Very, very much. So very clever, so very few words. I'm not going to check if it's bonified haiku or not (as form and strucure aren't a biggie in my books), but it's great. Oh god, oh snap, => Jess
Re: One O Five in the A.M. by Enkidu	sca 124.191.64.6	7-Jun-07/1:13 AM
What the random? You're not drunk or spaced, because the typing's coherent... but maybe it's transcipt of the post previously poorly written. Either way, a little more spastic fantastic than poetry. => Jess
Re: Johnny Neurotic by Enkidu	sca 124.191.64.6	7-Jun-07/1:15 AM
I like this one a little better. Twas worth the read in thought alone. So many media references... I had to think it back twice to remember some of it, lol.
Re: Humpty Dumpty's Regrettable Fate by MacFrantic	sca 124.191.64.6	7-Jun-07/1:17 AM
Hahaha... very entertaining much. Where did you pull this prom?